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The God of Miracles

Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.  Habakkuk 3:2

Do you ever think it would be easier to trust God if you lived in the days of parting seas and pillars of cloud and fire? You may rationalize that if you saw walls of water piling up and witnessed God destroying your enemies before your eyes you would never struggle with trusting Him.

That’s what the Israelites thought too. After experiencing His miraculous deliverance from Egypt and witnessing His awesome deeds on their behalf, they stood before Him at Mt. Sinai and proclaimed,

“Everything the LORD has said we will do.”  Exodus 24:3

Well, I believe they at least had good intentions, but intentions aren’t what God was looking for. Let’s join them for a moment on their journey to their Promised Land.

Imagine what it would be like to watch your daily bread fall from the sky and pile up on the surface of the ground. Each day God proved His faithfulness by providing His people with food while they lived in the desert. The Israelites would awaken to a blanket of white glistening beneath the morning dew. God instructed them through Moses to gather just enough to provide for their families for the day.

 “No one is to keep any of it until morning.” Exodus 16:19

You might suppose that seeing God’s power displayed for them again as He fed them with manna from heaven led to their wholehearted obedience, right? One would think so, but . . .

. . .  some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them.  Exodus 16:20

So much for the idea of witnessing God’s great deeds helping us trust Him more. No matter what they saw with their eyes, their hearts still rebelled.

God gave another opportunity to trust Him when the Sabbath came. He instructed the people to gather twice what they needed on the sixth day so they would have enough for the Sabbath because no manna would fall that day.

I bet that instruction raised some eyebrows. They had already discovered firsthand that the manna wouldn’t keep overnight, and I imagine they didn’t have much interest in eating stinking maggots. But for those who trusted, God showed His might once again.

So they saved it until morning, as Moses commanded, and it did not stink or get maggots in it.  Exodus 16:24

Imagine that.  Even food will spoil or keep from spoiling in obedience to the Word of the Lord. If only man—the crowning glory of God’s creation—would be that cooperative. He told them,

“Six days you are to gather it, but on the seventh day, the Sabbath, there will not be any.”  Nevertheless, some of the people went out on the seventh day to gather it, but they found none.” Exodus 16:26-27

And I’ll bet they were surprised.

No wonder anger kindled within God’s heart toward His covenant people. He chose them to be His own and bear His Name. He selected them out of all the nations of the earth to walk with Him and follow Him to a place of blessing He had prepared just for them.  He performed miracles in their midst. Yet over and over, even when they saw His mighty power poured out on their behalf, they refused to trust. They didn’t obey, and no matter what God did, it was never enough.

“But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!”   Numbers 11:6

You see, God’s people had a heart condition. No matter how many times they saw His arm of power move, they still grumbled. They still disobeyed, refusing to trust Him, and insisted on their own way. Dear one, even with all that they saw Him do, they continued to lose the battle against the pull of sin within their hearts.

But God knew they would struggle. So He had a plan in place before Creation itself sprang forth from His mouth. He would perform the miracle of miracles. He would offer His Son on a cross and provide a way for mankind to exchange his wayward nature for that of God’s.

We will spend the next few weeks exploring the miraculous together through Scripture. Psalm 77:14 rings as true today as it did when the Israelites crossed through the Red Sea on dry ground,

You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.

My heart echoes Habakkuk’s cry in our opening Scripture. God stands ready to reveal His mighty deeds in our days. But we just might miss the miracles if we keep our gaze fixed on our outward circumstances. You see, the cross shifted the focus of God’s wonders from the external to the internal. Now, He works the greatest wonder of all; He’s changing the human heart.

You are the miracle He seeks to reveal now, dear one.  Will you allow Him to display His power in you? 

Happy New Year!

2013. I can hardly believe another year has found its place in history. Do you ever notice how differently those 365 days can pass? At times, they seem to fly by, like when you blink and suddenly realize summer’s over. Other days—harder days—just drag on.

Perhaps you’re in the midst of some difficult days. Maybe you can find no reason to celebrate the coming of another year; you expect it will look much like the last one. After all, resolutions don’t really have the power to change anything. They just offer another opportunity to fail.

Take heart, dear one. When we have Jesus, we always have hope. Consider these words of the Lord, and open your heart to receive them as your own.

This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters,  . . . “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” 

Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

Christ desires to do a fresh work in your life, and He specializes in making a way when there seems to be no way. He never wastes our pain, but unfortunately, we often do. We get so lost in the misery of our circumstances that we neglect to follow Him through to the victory.

Jesus wants to lead you to resurrection life. Will you believe His promise that He works all things together for your good and His glory (Romans 8:28)? Would you trust that whatever He’s allowed in your life was designed to work glory in you?

Let’s join Jesus in laying down our own goals for this New Year and picking up His. Let’s commit to trust Him through our difficulties, drawing near to Him in surrender so that we can exchange our ashes for beauty, darkness for light, and our mourning for praise (Isaiah 61:1-3).

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

2 Corinthians 5:17

May 2013 truly become your year of transformation. Blessings in the mighty Name of Jesus!

The Word Became Flesh

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.  John 1:14

What’s your favorite part of the Christmas story? Is it Mary’s response to a visiting angel? Or perhaps the terrified shepherds tending their flock who found themselves surrounded by the glory of the Lord? I love the image of Magi from the east bowing and presenting costly gifts to a toddler King. If you let them, the details surrounding the birth of Jesus inspire awe and wonder.

I’d like to spend some time with you today treasuring one of those details found in our opening Scripture, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.” Have you considered the significance of that phrase?

Perhaps you were not aware that the birth of God’s Son—the Word—came on the heels of four hundred years of silence from God. 

That may seem of little consequence to you. Maybe you’ve lived your whole life expecting God’s silence because that’s all you’ve known. But the overwhelming truth revealed in Scripture is that God speaks to His created. He talked with Adam and Eve in the garden after He gave them life, and our first glimpse of Him after they sinned reveals a striking picture of God’s heart.

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.  But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:8-9

Do you see it, dear one? Even after they sinned, God came seeking them. He desires fellowship with us and wants us close. He calls to us, and He waits for us to respond. When we listen, His words provide life and quiet the soul. They become,

a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”  Psalm 119:105

So why would a God of fellowship who distinguishes Himself by speaking to His people remain silent for four hundred years?

It shouldn’t have been a surprise to them. He told them it was coming.

“The days are coming,” declares the Sovereign Lord, “when I will send a famine through the land—not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the Lord.  Men will stagger from sea to sea and wander from north to east, searching for the word of the Lord, but they will not find it.  Amos 8:11-12

God declared in advance that He would send a famine like no other—a famine of hearing His words. Why would He withhold that treasured gift from His holy people?

Well, usually our loving Father gives His children what they need. But sometimes, when they insist upon it, He gives them what they want.

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.  But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me.  So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.  Psalm 81:10-12

The people of God took for granted the gift they had been given. God spoke, but they refused to listen. He desired to fill their mouths, but they decided they didn’t need Him to. They thought they could do it better. So,

. . . they refused to pay attention; stubbornly they turned their backs and stopped up their ears. They made their hearts as hard as flint and would not listen . . .  Zechariah 7:11-12

So God stopped speaking. For four hundred long, silent years. And the people eventually realized what they had given up by chasing after their own desires. They longed to hear from God again, staggering from sea to sea, wandering in search of the word of the Lord, but they could not find it (Amos 8:12). They became desperate for it, to no avail. Until . . . once again, God proved His faithfulness.

But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman . . . Galatians 4:4

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us (John 1:14). The Word of the Lord returned, this time clothed in human flesh, an expression of God they could see and hear and touch. God’s voice entered the realm of earth again, carried on the cries of His infant Son.

Jesus grew, and God continued to speak through Him. He revealed God’s character and heart, teaching truth to all who would listen. The Word called us back into fellowship with His Father, extending the invitation through Himself, “Follow me.”

Then He poured out His life on a cross so we could maintain that fellowship with God forever. And He left us the gift of His Spirit so we can continue hear and discern the voice of God.

The Word still speaks. Like Israel centuries ago, we must choose whether we will listen.

Have you opened the gift God gave you in Jesus, beloved? Do you listen to the voice of the Word Made Flesh? Is the Word alive in you?

A Season of Hope

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  Romans 5:5

I love Christmas. It’s always been my very favorite time of year.

Don’t get me wrong. If we were strictly talking about weather, summer would certainly get my vote. Warm summer nights, cookouts, and sunshine beat cold, gray winter doldrums any day.

But Christmas to me was never about the weather. It was about the feeling.

Do you know the one I’m talking about? My mother called it sugarplums. Every year, along with the onset of Christmas carols, decorated trees, holiday smells, and exploding trays of Christmas cookies came the inevitable dancing inside my soul that would start in the depths of my stomach and flutter up into my heart.

Excitement would grip me from top to bottom, anticipation building with each opened door on the advent calendar. Finally on the night of December 24th, I would lose the ability to sleep altogether.

I wish I could say that my excitement over Christmas found its roots in its spiritual implications. It didn’t. Although I marveled at the wonders surrounding Jesus’ Bethlehem story, it would be years until I understood its profound meaning to my own life and opened the wondrous gift God gave me in His Son.

No, my sleepless nights and Christmas sugarplums were the result of something much more tangible to my childish mind. They were roused by anticipation over the presents.

You see, although my childhood was rich in love, we couldn’t afford to spend a whole lot on extra things. As a result, if there was something my brothers or I wanted throughout the year, we would be instructed to place the item on our Christmas list.

Then we’d wait. And we’d hope. And as the big day drew near, we’d wonder what treasures might actually appear beneath the Christmas tree.

Oh, the glorious excitement that hope brings! Do you remember what it feels like to hope?

I believe it’s safe to conclude we’ve all felt it. At some point, even if only for a few brief moments of childhood abandon, we’ve each allowed the glimmer of possibility to stir our hearts.

And that stirring kindled anticipation, igniting a spark of joyful expectancy within our hearts at the thought that what we wanted just might come to be.

Perhaps that hope even inspired a step of faith.

You bought that lottery ticket expecting your number to come up. You made a big investment, wooed by the promise of greater rewards. Or maybe you opened your heart to take a chance on love.

Then you waited and watched . . . and hoped. And you didn’t get the outcome you desired.

Unfortunately, in a world with very few guarantees, we often end up disappointed. Scripture confirms the validity of our response,

Hope deferred makes the heart sick . . .  Proverbs 13:12

Maybe you’ve arrived at a place in your life where you no longer dare to hope. Shadows of disappointment have drowned out the merriment hope brings, leaving cynicism in its place.

And so stories of a child Savior born in a stable with the power to redeem you seem a bit farfetched. You can appreciate the sentimental wonder of the story, but you dare not open your heart to really believe Him for His promises.

Yet Romans 5:5 makes a bold claim, “And hope does not disappoint us . . .”

How can this be? My own track record proves that hope can certainly disappoint.

Perhaps, but the hope that Scripture offers differs greatly from the hope we’ve experienced out in the world. And that difference changes everything.

My dictionary defines hope as “the feeling that what is desired is also possible, or that events may turn out for the best.” The Greek word translated hope in our Bibles actually means, the “desire of some good with expectation of obtaining it.”

Do you see the difference? Hope as we know it involves possibility. Biblical hope includes expectation.

Unlike anything else in this world we might place our hope in, Jesus includes a guarantee. Every promise made in Christ is as good as done. We just have to trust Him for them.

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  Romans 5:5

There is no gift greater than transforming love, and this gift keeps on giving! Will you take a chance on hope, dear one? Will you trust Jesus to change you for the better? I can promise you this time you won’t be disappointed. Better yet, God promises. And He sealed that promise with the blood of His Son. Perhaps it’s time to make possibility your reality.

 

Shaken and Stirred

Last week we saw that Christ’s presence dwelling and moving among His church produces astonishing results. Unfortunately, Christ will only be seen to the extent that His body submits. But, oh, the glory He reveals when we yield!

Let’s visit a prayer meeting that took place in the early church after Peter and John had been arrested for preaching about Jesus. Upon their release, a group of believers united together in fervent prayer.

“Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus.” Acts 4:29-30

Do you notice anything significant about their prayer? Is that how you would have prayed?

Consider the words we usually utter when we approach the throne. One obvious difference strikes me about their request. Their petitions didn’t focus on their own well-being. They set their thoughts squarely upon the revelation of God’s glory.

They didn’t ask God to take away the danger, stop the persecution or even to protect them. Theirs was a single-minded purpose. They desired to see God reveal His glory through them. In spite of the danger, in spite of their fear, they cast aside their own desires and exalted His. And how did God respond to His humble servants?

After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.  Acts 4:31

Oh, that we would once again become a body whose prayers shake our meeting halls! Notice that God granted their request. He filled each of them with His Spirit to empower them and equipped all of them to speak His Word boldly, in spite of the danger. Not one of them was exempt from the gift.  Dear one, neither are you.

Times are changing. According to Scripture, freedoms we’ve enjoyed as believers will one day cease. How will you respond as persecution rises?

Scripture foretells that more astonishing things are yet to come—some of them terrible, some wondrous—yet all of them remain certain. In the last days, evil will rise and bring with it persecution and war, ushering in a “time of distress such as has not happened from the beginning of nations” (Daniel 12:1).

Yet in Christ, we have glorious hope!

But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered. Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake: some to everlasting life, others to shame and everlasting contempt.  Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever. Daniel 12:1-3

Do you walk in the wisdom of the Lord and lead many to righteousness? Is the glory of Christ revealed in you? Today, you choose whether His light will shine through you. One day, Jesus will return to claim His throne, and your opportunity to choose will have passed.

“How long will it be before these astonishing things are fulfilled?” Daniel 12:6

You may not be fond of the answer.

The man clothed in linen, who was above the waters of the river, lifted his right hand and his left hand toward heaven, and I heard him swear by him who lives forever, saying, “It will be for a time, times and half a time. When the power of the holy people has been finally broken, all these things will be completed.”  Daniel 12:7

When the power of the holy people has finally been broken? That doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun. Fear not, dear one. God’s plans always find their root in our best interest.

Consider for a moment the power struggle that rages within you. Each day you must choose whether to bow to your own self-will, or to bow to the leadership of the Spirit. More often than not, your own desires win the battle, quenching the Spirit’s power.

Yet in the last days, the power of the Spirit will rise victorious. Christ’s own will finally learn to overcome and claim the victory Jesus purchased for them through the cross. As in the days following the church’s conception, believers will choose to abandon self-will, leaving its power broken. Christ’s church will rise, yielding to His Spirit in glorious surrender, uniting in the love and unity glimpsed at the birth of the church and restored in time for the return of the King.

Beloved, you and I can hasten His return.

You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.  2 Peter 3:11-12

As we choose to surrender to the work of the Spirit in our lives and allow Christ to sanctify and renew our minds and hearts toward His purpose, we move us toward the fulfillment of God’s great plan of redemption.

Like the Disciples who paved the way for us, will you choose to live radically for Jesus, abandoning all else to the rise of His glory? I pray that you will, beloved,

. . . so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. Philippians 2:15

Then our eyes will finally gaze upon our Lord and King without a veil. Glory rises, dear one. Will you allow it to rise within you?

Astonishing

Look at me and be astonished; clap your hand over your mouth. Job 21:5

We love to be amazed. Ordinary doesn’t cut it for this generation. Average barely gets a mention. But when something really wows us, we can’t help sharing what we witnessed.  Phone lines, Facebook pages and Twitter accounts start buzzing, and news of the astonishing spreads like wildfire.

Unfortunately, most of what we’re compelled to share has nothing to do with Jesus. Somehow the One who brought us the ultimate “wow factor” has been reduced to short, encouraging Scripture quotes to help remind us that He even exists. Amazing is left to great football plays, astounding special effects, or even the ridiculously stupid. These days, we don’t really expect to be astonished by Jesus.

Perhaps we’re missing something. According to Hebrews 13:8,

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Have you been astonished by Jesus? Have you encountered Him in a way that so filled you with awe that you couldn’t help but share it? He means to astound you, dear one. Jesus specializes in the extraordinary.

When was the last time the glory of Christ’s presence ignited you to share what you experienced?  What happens when you meet with other believers? Do your church services and gatherings reveal the unexplainable in a way that even non-believers can’t help but talk about it?

That’s the legacy of the church handed down to us through Scripture. Church didn’t start out as orderly programming that followed a workable schedule and met expectations each week. Church began as groups of believers encountering the presence of the God they worshiped and becoming empowered beyond their abilities to reveal His glory.

Consider these reactions of unbelievers as they witnessed what was happening in the early church.

  • Utterly amazed, they asked: “Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language? Acts 2:7-8
  • When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. Acts 4:13

God’s presence among His people caught the attention of the lost. They couldn’t help but take notice. What they witnessed defied what they could logically explain.

Perhaps the most astonishing miracle occurred among the believers themselves.

Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.  All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. Acts 2:43-46

Thousands of Christians from different backgrounds, with different personalities and unique desires, united as one. With hearts full of joyous praise, they shared all they had. Selfless love permeated the church,

And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Acts 2:47

Come to think of it, it sounds like the early church fulfilled what Jesus claimed to be the greatest commandment in all of Scripture.

“’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Luke 10:27

Scripture teaches that when believers fight among themselves, we act like “mere men” (1 Corinthians 3:3).  Quarreling indicates a quenching of the Spirit; it reveals that we’ve chosen to exalt our own desires instead of submitting to His. Unity expressed through love, however, reveals Christ’s presence in our midst.

You may be wondering, is such unity even possible? Scripture confirms that it is. In fact, it’s not only possible, it’s God’s declared will for His church. And remember, dear one, God’s will always comes to pass.

One lingering question remains: will ours be the generation in which He fulfills it? That depends on each one of us. Will we choose to yield our personal desires to the leadership of His Spirit and allow Him to once again astonish the world through us?

Jesus knocks at the door of His church. Perhaps it’s time we let Him back in.

The Proper Response

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Proverbs 1:7

Last week we learned that our path to salvation begins when we possess a proper fear of God. That can only occur when we hold a proper view.

Too many of us have such a small view of God that we can’t recognize our need to fear Him. We don’t revere Him; instead we place Him on almost equal ground with ourselves. We offer Him a nod on Sunday mornings, then spend much of the rest of our time ignoring Him.

Yet when we visited God’s throne room with Isaiah, we witnessed his profound response to seeing God’s glory revealed. He was terrified.

We often describe the fear of the Lord with words like reverence, respect, and awe. I’ll admit I’ve used those words myself to explain its meaning. But while those are all elements of fearing God, I don’t believe they encompass it entirely. Strong’s concordance adds these definitions for the word translated “fear” in our Bibles:   

“to be afraid, be frightened; to revere, respect; to be awesome, be dreadful, be feared” (Strong’s, 3772, p. 1512).

What Isaiah experienced reflects the rest of the definition. He witnessed something awesome, dreadful, utterly frightening, and he became completely undone.

Isaiah isn’t alone in his response. The apostle John, beloved disciple of Jesus and New Testament recipient of Christ’s saving grace, received a visit from his risen Lord while in exile on the island of Patmos.

I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me . . . When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.”  Revelation 1:12, 17-18

God’s grace doesn’t make Him a cuddly teddy bear. When you finally see His Glory unleashed, you will tremble. Perhaps, like John, you will fall at his feet as though dead. But the beauty of grace is evident in Jesus’ response to John. To those who recognize God as wholly other and worthy of honor, to those who in reverent fear choose to submit their earthly lives to Him in repentance and receive by faith the sacrifice that Jesus made for them, to those Jesus lovingly responds, “Do not be afraid.” And we needn’t be.

The fear of the Lord leads to life:  Then one rests content, untouched by trouble.  Proverbs 19:23

Through repentance and faith in Jesus, fear of the Lord propels us into His safe embrace. He becomes our Rock. Our Strong Tower. Our Shelter in the storm. Our Rest. We become His, but the question remains: What next? How does one respond to such a great gift of grace?

Abraham, father of our faith, provides our example. Acts 7:2-4 tells us,

The God of glory appeared to our father Abraham while he was still in Mesopotamia, before he lived in Haran. Leave your country and your people,’ God said, ‘and go to the land I will show you.’

So he left . . .”

At the beckoning of God, Abraham left his people and his home to go to a land he’d never seen. Why would he do that? How could he so easily and completely abandon everything to follow this God? 

In the midst of a polytheistic culture that offered its worship to many gods, Abraham met the God of glory. Wisdom was born in him as Truth penetrated his heart, and he knew this was the One True God. Imagine the magnitude of such an encounter that would convince him that all he had ever been taught to believe was wrong. Like Isaiah, Abraham beheld something awesome that conceived in Him the fear of the Lord. 

Yet this fear did not send him running to the hills. It sent him chasing after this God he realized he simply could not live without.  Abraham’s fear of remaining distant from God surpassed his fear of approaching Him. He was compelled to follow, and the path led him smack dab into the blessing of God.

Abraham shares this experience with every great hero of faith recorded for us in Scripture.

  • Moses met God through the flames of a burning bush, and his encounter led him to abandon the safety of his desert life and challenge Egypt’s Pharaoh on behalf of God’s people.
  • Paul, guardian of Jewish law and zealous persecutor of the early church, came face to face with the glory of Christ on the road to Damascus. Blinded by the Light of Truth, he dropped to his knees in repentance and emerged from the encounter willing to follow Jesus to his death, suffering for the cause of the very One he had persecuted. 
  • Even the first Disciples shared this experience. They had been fishing on the Sea of Galilee when Jesus called to them, “Come, follow me.” How did they respond?  At once they left their nets and followed him. Mark 1:18

They each responded to the revelation of God in their lives with the same reaction: they left behind all that they had known to follow. Beloved, what has changed, that God would seek any less of a response from us?

How have you responded to the revelation of God’s glory, dear one? Have you surrendered everything to follow your Lord and King? If not, He’s waiting.

God Shows Himself Strong

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16:9 NIV 1984

I was at my wit’s end.

Of course, in those days, it didn’t take much to get me there. I had two little boys under the age of three and a husband who was rarely home.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you know you just can’t take one more minute? Your circumstances have spun out of control and your emotions are spinning right along with them. In that moment you realize you’re capable of just about anything. Desperation has a way of blurring once clear lines between right and wrong.

This particular night, the boys and I had made it to the end of a very long day. The baby finally slept upstairs, settled in for his last nap of the day before his final feeding and, God-willing, a decent stretch of sleep through the night.  All that remained was to tuck in my two-year-old, and I would have about 20 minutes of peaceful time to myself before my husband came home and wanted my attention.

My son decided he didn’t agree with the plan.

Instead of joining Mommy for sweet stories and prayers in idyllic bedtime ritual, my oldest decided he would pitch a fit—a LOUD fit, complete with kicking and screaming.

Trying to avoid my own angry outburst, I proceeded to reason with my two-year-old. Oddly, he wouldn’t see reason.

My patience waning, my stern voice threatened him with spankings and various other punishments. On he screamed, defiantly pushing me away with flailing wails.

Then suddenly another sound erupted above my head. The baby’s cries now pierced the silence upstairs, competing with his brother to be heard and satisfied.

Anger erupted out of me in a violent wave. I screamed at my son and grabbed him, ready to punish him. I looked at the little boy in front of me, not seeing my beloved firstborn. Instead I saw the cause of all the chaos, and something rose within me that wanted him to pay.  

Anger has a way of bringing out the worst in us.

Thank heaven something else rose up that was even more powerful.

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Stopping mid-stride, I set my screaming child down in a chair and collapsed to my knees, sobbing. I buried my face in my arms on the edge of the chair and began to cry out to my God. It was the first time I had ever stopped to pray right in the middle of a difficult situation.

I cried out desperately for His help, begging for His intervention. I confessed how tired I was and acknowledged I was at the end of my rope. I thanked Him for my children and told Him I didn’t want to hurt either one of them. I had glimpsed the depravity of my flesh and knew I needed something greater than me.

I don’t know how long I prayed. Eventually the words ceased but the sobs remained.

Finally, I began to pull myself together, my motherly instinct reminding me I still had two little boys to care for. As I lifted my head to face my son, realization dawned. The atmosphere in the room had changed. Silence greeted me.

My eyes met my son’s. He sat perfectly still, staring at me with wide eyes. I listened upstairs. Nothing.

My God had quieted the screams of both my babies without a single touch from their mother.

I lifted my son off the chair and hugged him to me. He slipped his little arms around my neck, and I carried him upstairs to bed. After sweet prayers and bedtime kisses, I tucked him in and checked on the baby. I found him sleeping peacefully.

I returned downstairs, dumbfounded. It shocked me to see such evidence of God’s mighty hand in something that seemed trivial in the scheme of things. Crying babies?

But God delights to show Himself strong to those who give Him the opportunity.

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. 2 Chronicles 16:9 NKJV

I’ve learned to expect God to move on my behalf. You see, Scripture reveals God on the edge of His seat, combing the earth, searching out vessels for whom He can demonstrate His strength.

Dear one, will you turn your heart toward Him and allow His eyes to rest on you?

My Prince on a White Horse

I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True . . . Revelation 19:11

I was at work one day in the summer of 1994 when one of my co-workers approached me with a rose and a note. The message on the folded page read, “Your prince is waiting for you outside with his white horse.”

Smiles adorned the faces of the staff as they watched me exit the store in pursuit of the messenger. When I stepped into the sunlight, my eyes rested on my fiancé leaning against a white Mustang convertible with another rose in his hand. He had driven 8 hours from Pennsylvania to surprise me. I truly thought I was living the fairy tale.

On Monday, my husband and I will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. Like most couples, those 18 years have held both ups and downs. Thankfully, we’re still here.

One thing remains certain. What began amid a swirl of romance and butterflies has grown into a deep love and companionship that far surpasses the intoxicating newness of budding love. I can’t express the comfort it brings. I can hardly remember life before “us.”

My family

Now “us” has grown to include two amazing sons and our sweet Aussie, Annie. (You may have met her in one of my recent posts!) Happiness dwells within our home. Far more frequently than anger and tears, joy and laughter filter through its walls. I’m grateful.

You see, I know what could have been, had God not intervened. I know who I used to be before I allowed Jesus to begin His transforming work within my heart.

Early in my marriage, I looked to my husband to fill my empty places. I carried many wounds from past rejection, and I thought Steve would rescue me from my hurt and make everything better. You know—the stuff of fairy tales.

You’ve probably discovered as I have that fairy tales are just that. Life rarely measures up to the dream.

But most of what I wrestled with didn’t come from anything my husband did to me. It came from within. I couldn’t get free of the fear that he would stop loving me. My insecurity and self-doubt drove me to desperately need his assurance—and his attention. Without realizing it, I pushed him to perpetually demonstrate his feelings so that I could be at peace. I never was. No matter how much he poured in, I never felt full.

I’m certain my insecurity wearied the man who adored me, whose love never seemed to be enough.

Jeremiah 2:13 explains the reason for my unhappiness.

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”

My husband is a broken cistern. So am I. An imperfect man in an imperfect world, he can never hold enough to fill me up. But that’s okay; he wasn’t made to.

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14

Thankfully, after the birth of my first son, I learned to drink in the Living Water. I encountered a Savior I trusted was worth loving and surrendered my heart and life to His care.

I discovered something marvelous. He never empties.

He always has enough, and He never withholds it. He never tires of my insecurities or becomes impatient with my imperfections. He just loves, perfectly. And that kind of love can do what no other kind can. It fills.

And as it fills, it heals.

That did something wonderful in my marriage. I stopped pressuring my husband to meet my needs. I could just enjoy who he is instead of demanding what he couldn’t give me. And once I stopped taking, I was able to give.

That’s the beauty of loving Jesus. Loving Him doesn’t take away from our ability to love anyone else. It enables us to love better.

I’m so grateful Jesus has taught me how to love. I’m still learning. So is my husband. But Jesus is the cord that binds us together. He is the true Savior. Riding to our rescue on His white horse, He saves us from ourselves.

Life on this earth may not be a fairy tale, but in Jesus you can discover a capacity for joy you’ve never known. And one day, when He returns to claim His throne, you’ll get your happily ever after.