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When Praying for Something Costs You

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“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7

I. Love. Cheese.

Passionately. Cheddar. Asiago. Parmesan. I’ve always lived by the mantra that cheese makes everything better. Especially when melted.

Until recently, that is. A surprise autoimmune diagnosis this summer after several weeks of not feeling well stole dairy from my life in one shocking moment of disbelief in a doctor’s office. I wish I could say that was all. Hopelessness began descending like a heavy weight as the doc ran down the list of things I couldn’t eat while we try to reset my digestive system so my immune system stops attacking me.

Essentially, I’m allowed to eat meat, fruits and vegetables. Oh, and nuts. The doc was kind enough to throw nuts back in the mix, removing them from the off-limits list after a glance at me. Apparently, he has a soft spot for women on the verge of tears.

I think perhaps we all go through times when life seems to throw one curveball after another. This has been one of those seasons. And dealing with loss, two cancer diagnoses, ministry challenges, and hurting children seems a little easier with comfort food.

I’ll admit I gave in momentarily to that inner dialog that occurs when something doesn’t seem fair. I already eat far better than my immediate family members. I exercise regularly. Logic says this shouldn’t be happening to someone who tries to take good care of her temple.

But suddenly I find myself in a place where God is requiring more. And when I first heard the news, I wasn’t sure I wanted to give it.

Who wants to give up cookies, brownies and ice cream? Or even mashed potatoes, for crying out loud? And let’s not forget the cheese.

But even before I met with God in prayer to begin to sort all this out, I knew. He was in this. This filtered into my life from His own hand. You see, I’ve been asking Him for something for several years. Something I prayed with bold faith and expectation. This broken vessel has been crying out to God to manifest the work of the cross in my life. I have repeatedly asked Him to empower me live the promise of Galatians 2:20.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

The crucifixion of our flesh is something we like in theory but rarely care for practically. It’s one of those themes in scripture we often skirt around. We may have the guts to crucify things we view as big, obvious sin. But what about those things that don’t appear to us as sin at all? What about things that may even appear good to us but somehow hinder the race He’s called us to run (Hebrews 12:1)?

I have repeatedly asked Jesus to put to death every bit of my flesh that resists Him. I want His Spirit to reign over every part of me. And I believed my words as I proclaimed these desires to the Savior who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Until He began to show me how much I really resisted Him. Apparently, I didn’t mean the part that loves cheese and baked goods.

We humans tend to compartmentalize. We’ll readily give Jesus access to some places. But others we reserve for ourselves. We’ll give Him our service, but we guard our cravings. Some part of us believes we have a right to them. And we wrap it all up with the notion that our God of blessing wants us to be happy.

And He does. He just wants to be the source of that happiness. He wants us living bound to the notion of Psalm 16:11.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

God doesn’t want us seeking to find joy in His blessings. He wants us knowing He is the blessing.

God doesn’t want us seeking to find joy in His blessings. He wants us knowing He is the blessing. Click To Tweet

Sometimes surrender is easy. Sometimes we go kicking and screaming. But the question remains. Will we go?

Will we ask Him to take us to His very best for us and be willing to follow where He leads? Will we go even if no one else goes with us?

Even though my flesh at times resists Him, I’m thankful for a God who answers prayer. And even though the road is often hard and bumpy, He’s worth the trip.

The death of my flesh isn’t the only thing I’ve been asking God for. I’ve also been praying for wisdom and understanding of His Word that will break open the darkness binding much of the church and release His bride to shine brightly in the beauty of the cross.

Look at what link He just showed me again in scripture.

But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king’s food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself.… And in every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king inquired of them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters that were in all his kingdom. Daniel 1:8, 20

God honored Daniel’s fast with wisdom and understanding that astounded the world. Only He knows how He’ll honor mine.

I’m not arguing with God anymore. Hopeful expectation has overshadowed that feeling of hopelessness. The King of Kings stands ready to move in my life as I willingly submit and trust Him with my future.

He won’t disappoint.

Oh, beloved. What are you willing to seek God for?

discover your promised land

Have you Discovered Your Promised Land?

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You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

What are you really after, beloved?

As Christians, most of us say that we seek God. But if we’re honest, I think many of us have been tricked into settling for something less. We encourage one another to fix our eyes on God’s promises. But what if by fixing our eyes on those promises we miss the blessing of God Himself?

Our enemy has convinced us to focus our desires on the blessings found in this world. Our hearts long for material things. For honor. Comfort. Wealth. Security.

And we’ve incorporated those things into our understanding of life in Christ. We know Christ has blessed us, so we interpret those blessings to come through material provision, expecting God’s generous overflow. Christ promises victory and authority, so we assume that means we’ll get everything our heart desires. Chasing that promise, we seek power we’re not yet ready to handle.

But many of us have missed what God taught Abraham when He called him away from the life he knew to a life of radical faith.

After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, saying, “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.” Genesis 15:1 NKJV

God Himself is the reward, beloved.

Moses discovered that promise to be true. He grew up in the palace of a king in the wealthiest nation in the land. He had everything a worldly heart could desire. Money. Prestige. Comfort. He lived the life that many of us long for. Yet Hebrews 11:24-26 tells us this about him.

By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward.

Think this through with me a moment, dear one. What reward was Moses looking toward? He had everything the world would tell him to desire. Yet he was willing to suffer dishonor for the sake of Christ, because what he would gain surpassed the wealth and treasures of Egypt.

What was Moses after?

I doubt he knew, until 40 years later when God showed up in a burning bush and called him to Himself. And after encountering His glory, Moses made the same choice Abraham made. He’d follow wherever God led, even if it took him back to Egypt.

God sent Moses to deliver Israel from their slavery. But He wasn’t just taking them from Egypt. He was taking them to their Promised Land. After 400 years, God was fulfilling His promise to Abraham.

“And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.” … “To your offspring I will give this land.” Genesis 12:2, 7

God had promised Israel the land of Canaan. And finally, after centuries of waiting, He sent Moses to deliver them and take them to their land of promise.

But it didn’t take long for the people to start grumbling. They complained about their lack of food in the desert, and God sent bread from heaven. He drew water from a rock when they complained of thirst. And after the people began to worship a golden calf, God offered Moses an opportunity to end the grumbling.

The Lord said to Moses, “Depart; go up from here, you and the people whom you have brought up out of the land of Egypt, to the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give it.’  I will send an angel before you, and I will drive out the Canaanites, the Amorites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey; but I will not go up among you, lest I consume you on the way, for you are a stiff-necked people.” Exodus 33:1-3

I wonder how Moses felt in that moment. God offered to send them from the desert into the land the people had longed for. And He vowed to send an angel to drive out their enemies. God promised power and provision, and Moses would regain the people’s favor by giving  them what they wanted. They could finally exchange the lifeless desert for the land of promise.

You might be surprised at Moses’ response.

And he said to him, “If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here.” Exodus 33:15

You see, Moses realized the Promised Land wasn’t the true blessing. God Himself is. An angel wasn’t good enough. He wanted God. And he was willing to forsake God’s promised blessing to have His Presence.

What would you choose, beloved? Is Jesus your means to an end, or the end you’ll pursue by whatever means?

Don’t fall into the trap of wanting God’s promises more than you want Him. Jesus is your promised land, dear one. In Him you will find fullness of joy.

And He’s worth whatever it may cost you.