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Disabled by Fear

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

Have you ever had a moment that robbed your peace so suddenly and completely it felt like the ground you were standing on actually shifted? I had one of those last Monday.

Nothing particularly extraordinary happened. I simply received some news. But that news opened a door for a thought to enter my mind that I hadn’t considered before. And that one thought sent me reeling.

It’s amazing how a simple piece of information dropped into a conversation can change everything.

But the funny thing is, it wasn’t the news itself that caused the problem. It was what my heart suggested I do with it—the overwhelming sense that I should fear it. I didn’t have any concrete evidence to justify my fear. It was simply a thought—a whisper—a possibility.

But once I had it, I couldn’t get away from it. It repeatedly drew all other thoughts back to it, and every time it surfaced my heart pounded while my stomach churned. Because at the end of the trail that thought led me down, I saw pain for my family. Pain I didn’t want. Pain I was certain I couldn’t handle.

So my heart raced and my stomach turned. And I bent in submission to the fear.

Do you know, beloved, that you and I have a right to choose whether fear can have its way with us? If you have been redeemed and the Spirit of Christ dwells in you, fear has no right to govern you. For God has not given us a spirit of fear… (2Tim 1:7).

Yet fear does often govern us, doesn’t it? It did me. It took hold of me with such oppressive force, I couldn’t shake it. No matter how much I tried to regain control of my thoughts, I couldn’t. Instead, those thoughts, whispered by an unseen enemy, did exactly what they were intended to do. They threw everything I knew and believed as truth into confusion.

Can you relate, dear one? Have you, like me, ever beat yourself up for not having greater victory over your fear? For not managing it better?

Tuesday morning began the same way Monday ended. The moment my mind crept from its slumber and wakened to face the day, the oppression resumed. My stomach began its churning before my eyelids fluttered open. By the time I made it downstairs to get my boys ready for soccer, I was so overcome I didn’t know how I would function.

I had been leaning against the fridge filling a thermos with water when the tears came. I felt powerless. Helpless. I couldn’t get myself out.

And then I realized. I didn’t have to.

Leaning my head on the fridge door, I closed my eyes through the tears and whispered four words. “Come get me, Jesus.”

And He did.

It wasn’t immediate, but throughout the day peace slowly emerged. I found the strength to focus my thoughts and even managed a few hours of writing I needed to complete. The next day I discovered with joy that my worst fear would not be realized. The thought that fear had tried to convince me was certain remained what it had always been: a possibility, one that never came to fruition.

Dear one, the spirit of fear disables us. And while as believers sealed by the Holy Spirit evil spirits cannot possess us, they will work hard to oppress us and stifle the works God calls us to. I spent a lot of years bent under the oppressive spirit of fear. No more.

I recently read this passage from Luke 13 with fresh perspective. Perhaps it will speak to you like it did to me.

Now he [Jesus] was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And behold, there was a woman who had had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said to her, “Woman, you are freed from your disability.” And he laid his hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and she glorified God. Luke 13:10-13 ESV

A disabling spirit had oppressed this dear woman—a daughter of Abraham (verse 16) —for eighteen years. Consider her posture. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself (verse 11). I can’t help but think of myself that morning, bent over in grief while I filled that thermos, unable to straighten under the weight of it.

Look what Jesus said to her. “Woman, you are freed…” Listen, dear one. Jesus has already set us free through the cross from every oppressive power. We don’t need deliverance; we’ve been delivered. Perhaps it’s time we believed Him and walked in the Spirit we have been given, one “of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Tim 1:7).

And in those moments when oppression comes so quickly and powerfully that we find ourselves bent under its force, it will not be our efforts that bring the victory. We need a touch of grace from our Savior.

And he laid his hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and she glorified God. Luke 13:13

The Power of Ingratitude

“By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.”  Exodus 13:21

Did you ever notice how God becomes just what we need from Him in any given moment?

Perhaps you haven’t noticed. Maybe, like the Israelites, you reap the benefit of His presence without ever giving it much thought. They were often so preoccupied by what they lacked, they didn’t appreciate what they were given. Instead of thanking God for His rich provision, they grumbled.

In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.” Exodus 16:2-3

Really? They spent their time in Egypt sitting around pots of meat? Isn’t it amazing how quickly the human mind forgets and distorts. Perhaps you’d like to see what caused God to send Moses to get them out of Egypt in the first place.

The Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out, and their cry for help because of their slavery went up to God. God heard their groaning and he remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob. So God looked on the Israelites and was concerned about them. Exodus 2:23-25

God added these words when He called Moses from the burning bush.

The Lord said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering . . . I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them.” Exodus 3:7,9

The memory of their groaning in backbreaking slavery quickly faded to illusions of grand feasts. Why? They were hungry. A desire of their flesh rose up and wasn’t satisfied, and that one thing became the entire focus of their thoughts. They forgot the extent of their suffering, as well as God’s miraculous displays of power on their behalf. And their momentary hunger made them twist His intentions. They threw God’s plan to rescue them back in His face, claiming He meant them harm.

Ever been there? That’s the nature of the unredeemed heart, dear one. It deceives. No wonder Jeremiah 17:9 states,

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

And that deceitful heart left unchecked brings bitterness to the soul.

Perhaps this is why scripture continually points the people of God toward gratitude. Gratitude shifts our gaze and changes the direction of our thinking. Instead of emptying the soul by dwelling on what we lack, it fills it by celebrating what we possess.

Sadly, few consistently choose the path of gratitude. Our own hunger for things we desire clouds our view and overshadows our many blessings. And that’s dangerous. Scripture teaches that refusing to acknowledge God with thanksgiving leads to futile thinking and a hard, dark heart.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools. Romans 1:21-22

Ingratitude made the Israelites fools—fools that desired to run right back to the oppressive captivity they had cried out for deliverance from. Amazing.

Before we start casting stones at the house of Israel, it might be wise to shift our gaze to the nearest mirror. Is your heart content in the journey God has you on, dear one? Do your lips offer praise for the Light that marks your path, or are you preoccupied with an area that remains in shadow? Are you hungering for something so ferociously that all that God has already poured into your life feels empty?

God wants to see your heart at peace, beloved. He longs to satisfy your soul with a contentedness only He can bring. You see, dear one, only God Himself can satisfy.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Psalm 90:14

Do you want a little joy and gladness that carries you all your days? It comes as the result of a choice. Choose to look at what God has done, not what He has yet to do. Offer Him praise and gratitude. You may just find that you encounter God Himself.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:4-5

Praise and gratitude usher us into the presence and power of God. Thanksgiving allows us to enter His gates. Praise carries us into His court. And when we encounter Him, we discover just what we needed. Emptiness fades. Our hearts fill with His very presence.

And we are satisfied.

Living the “Right” Way

I get to humble myself to you today. You see, God’s been revealing some things to me about myself. That’s what happens when you commit to let God be God and pray Psalm 139:23-24,

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Yep, God loves that kind of praying—when we pray His own Word back to Him with a sincere and seeking heart. He’s been answering that particular prayer of mine for the last 15 years.  Funny, after all this time, He hasn’t run out of  “offensive ways” to reveal to me. Thank goodness for His infinite love and patience! Obviously, I’m a work in progress.

I recently started a Bible study exploring modern-day idolatry, Kelly Minter’s “No Other Gods.” I got as far as day 2 when God revealed the latest offensive way He wanted to remove. 2 Kings 17:7 served as the springboard for my revelation.

All this took place because the Israelites had sinned against the Lord their God, who had brought them up out of Egypt from under the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt (emphasis mine).

I’ve taught often on the parallels between God’s deliverance of the Israelites from their captivity in Egypt to our deliverance through Christ from our own areas of spiritual bondage. Over the years, Christ has freed me from many things, but that day’s lesson offered a fresh look based on the wording of that verse. The commentary challenged me to consider anything that represented a “pharaoh” in my life. Did I have anything that exercised power over me other than God?

To be honest, I couldn’t come up with anything. So I did what I always do, knowing my deceptive heart will never give up its gods easily. I prayed, asking Jesus to show me if I did.

It didn’t take long for Him to answer. Five words surfaced clearly in my thoughts. “You need to be right.”

Well, doesn’t everybody?

I pondered the thought for several moments until realization slowly began to dawn. That “need” I had never been able to name had been a destructive factor in my life, displaying itself in several different areas. But the big one was this:

He showed me I felt so driven to be right that I feared ever being wrong. And that fear made me slow to trust Him.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt Jesus prompting me to take a step of faith and let doubt delay my obedience. Good and logical thought convinced me I needed to double-check with God to make sure I heard Him correctly. Like Gideon, I’d set out my fleece time and again to make sure He continued to give me the same answer. He would have to confirm His will to me several times before I’d finally move.

I thought my motives were pure. I wanted be in the heart of God’s will. I wanted to be certain the idea was truly coming from Him and not from me. I didn’t want to inadvertently step outside of His blessing and favor.

I didn’t want to be wrong.

So I would wait. And pray. And wrestle with my thoughts. And stand still.

Apparently, I’d rather remain in limbo than take a step in the wrong direction. Not so bad, right?

But God was trying to show me something. Inadvertently serving this need to be right interfered with my ability to serve Him.

I was behaving as if I didn’t have the relationship with Him that I have been building for the last 15 years. On several occasions in the midst of my doubt He has had to remind me,

“You know my voice.”

And I do. I’ve learned to recognize it. His quiet whisper penetrating the world’s noise has become my lifeline. I know it when I hear it.

Yet I still question it. My compulsive need to be right—my fear of being wrong— still makes me doubt it.  It keeps me wrestling with whether I even heard it. So I don’t move right away when Jesus tells me to. And here’s the truth of it, my friend. Delayed obedience is sin.

I wonder how many times my refusal to move has kept me from a blessing.

2 Kings 17:41 reveals a profound truth:

Even while these people were worshiping the Lord, they were serving their idols.

Dear one, just like Israel, you and I can worship Jesus while serving other gods. I did. I was trying to follow Jesus while still serving my need to be right. The power that need maintained in my life interfered with me doing what God was leading me to do. Kind of gives new insight to Matthew 6:24:

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and ________________. “

What do you still serve, dear one, that keeps you from wholeheartedly following Jesus? Are you willing to let God reveal your hidden chains?

I’ll warn you. You may be surprised by what you discover. But if you’re willing to take the journey, you’ll find the path leads to peace.

More Than a Story

After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel. Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord . . .  Judges 2:10-11

I grew up hearing Bible stories. My Sunday school teachers would thrill me with tales of David’s bravery as he faced a giant with only a sling and a stone, or three heroes’ miraculous walk through a fiery furnace. I even had a series of storybooks highlighting biblical adventures, and I loved to read about Daniel and the lions or Joseph and his colorful coat.

As a child, I loved the stories. But as I grew, I began to wonder if that was all they were.

Do you ever wrestle with believing the truth of God’s Word? Do your children know that Jesus is more than a fairytale?

Several years ago I was preparing dinner when my son burst through the door in tears. My eldest reported in anger that his younger brother had just pelted him in the head with a rock.

I guess frustration over consistently feeling inferior had finally taken its toll.

I called him into the house and sent him to his room to consider what had just happened while I finished my task. Then I climbed the stairs to find him on his bed, a tearful mixture of defiance and regret.

He told me he had just been so angry, he picked up the rock and threw it at his brother in a rage. He knew it was wrong, but he just couldn't help it. And he was sorry.

I could see his remorse and I told him I had forgiven him. Then I advised him to ask his brother's forgiveness as well as the Lord's. He took my hands and prayed with me on that bed. I'll never forget what he said.

You see, I expected him to simply bow his head and ask God to forgive him for hurting his brother by throwing the rock. Instead he confessed that he had a problem with anger and asked God to help him with it. His next words caught in my throat and stung my eyes with tears.

"I believe that you can help me with it because my dad had a problem with anger and he prayed to You to help him and You did, so I believe You can help me too."

My 8-year-old son had faith in a redeeming God because he had witnessed firsthand the power of His redemption. He had seen God temper a short fuse that could explode into harsh words, transforming it to increasing patience and gentle replies. He had felt the love of God flowing through to him in the form of a changed father. He had experienced firsthand the transforming power of resurrection life.

So he believed.

And that faith moved him to take action to trust God with the sin in his own heart.

Do people see that Jesus is real through your life, dear one? Do you allow Him to reveal His glorious power in you?

Jesus is more than a story. He is the King of Kings seated at the right hand of God who has taken authority over all sin through the cross. He is the Lord who raises the dead, who transforms, renews and restores.

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. 1 Corinthians 4:20

Isn’t it time we experienced that power instead of just reading about it? You and I can’t continue to stand in faith on yesterday’s stories. We need fresh works of God to reveal His presence today. A life that doesn’t experience God firsthand will struggle with believing He’s there at all.

The fate of the Israelite children bares witness to that. When Joshua finally led Israel into the Promised Land to claim their inheritance,

The people served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him who had seen all the great things the Lord had done for Israel.  Judges 2:7

These were the children of the generation God led out of Egypt who had witnessed the mighty miracles of God’s deliverance. They held on in faith to what they had seen, and they remained faithful to the Lord. But they didn’t believe God for fresh works in their midst, so their faith didn’t pass to their own children. They may have shared stories of God’s miraculous provision in the past, but with no fresh work revealing God to them in the present, that’s just what they became. Stories. And,

After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel.  Judges 2:10

Within one generation of entering the Promised Land, an entire generation of Israelites grew up that didn’t know the Lord. So they wandered from Him into the idolatry of the culture around them.

Oh, how I pray we would break the cycle of unbelief in our generation! Let’s become the generation that returns to the Lord full of faith and experiences the outpouring of His glory.

Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”  John 11:40

The power of sin is broken. I think it’s time we see Jesus raise the dead.