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The Day I was Done, but God Wasn’t

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27

I wonder if life has robbed you of hope. You know things aren’t what they should be. They’re definitely not what you want them to be.  And you’re tired.

Tired of fighting. Tired of trying. Tired of feeling.

You’re ready to give up, believing your situation is too far gone to redeem.

Let me whisper hope into your heart, beloved. No situation rests out of God’s reach. And Jesus wants to look at you to tell you, “This may be impossible for you. But it isn’t for Me.” As He said to a father desperate to save his tormented child,

“All things are possible for one who believes.” Mark 9:23

Today I’d like to share a story of hope that I pray will encourage you to draw near to Jesus and keep believing. Prayer holds the power to release divine help into earth’s challenges. Don’t give up hope when your miracle may be just around the corner.

The Day I was Done, but God Wasn’t

By Danielle Lew

It’s been a CRAZY, emotional few weeks.

Without going into details, suffice it to say,

We. Were. Done.

At least I convinced myself that I was. Done fighting for our marriage, our relationship. And plans were in motion to separate.

I had made the decision after days of endless worry and examination of everything that was “wrong” in our fifteen-year relationship and thirteen-year marriage.

I didn’t want to try anymore. In case you don’t know this: RELATIONSHIPS ARE WORK.

I confided in my friends who got to work in praying for us. They asked questions like, “Are you sure?”, and “Is this what God wants?” But they always ended with, “I’ll support you no matter what, and I’ll pray for you and your family.”

Well, after a day of “heated”—sometimes mean—conversations, a trip to a lawyer for information, scheduled tours of apartments/townhouses, and opening new bank accounts, we sat down to make decisions about kids.

And I can’t exactly tell you what happened next…. other than prayers were answered.

I got humble and vulnerable.

And he got passionate, honest, genuine, and communicated things I’ve not heard or didn’t want to hear.

I looked at my part. How I have failed in certain areas. Not at him—his shortcomings—but mine.

And realized I have not yet done near enough work on myself to be the best wife and mom I can be. I have been selfish at times, and certainly no saint.

And my husband is no monster.

It takes two to make a marriage work, and when one falls down, the hope is it’s not too far down, and we can help the other up.

But here’s the thing. Well, a thing. There are many “things ” I could say.

I actually came face to face with what I need to do to grow and change.

Crisis can be used to our benefit if we look for the lesson!!!!

I would have missed that lesson had I left, or if I didn’t listen with an open heart to what my husband was saying.

In a couple, we each have things we need to work on. If we’re so focused on the faults of the other, we don’t see the faults of our own!

When I recognized that I had things to work on, I felt empowered!!!! It was good news! Because I can change me (through God’s help). I can’t change my husband, but I can change ME!

Truth hurts. But in pain we grow.

So, the point is, we’re not done fighting.

We will claim this victory over these challenges and we will give the glory to God for the restoration.

Because only He could have changed my heart and mind from my decision to leave.

And I’m grateful. The past 48 hours have been the best days of our marriage… I’m looking for many more to come.

We almost quit 5 minutes before the miracle happened.

Almost. 

Miracles happen every day. Today, I’m sharing ours with you.

I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I’ll bet that if we nurture our relationship and keep God at the center of it, we will keep growing and have one heck of a testimony!!!

Living the “Right” Way

I get to humble myself to you today. You see, God’s been revealing some things to me about myself. That’s what happens when you commit to let God be God and pray Psalm 139:23-24,

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Yep, God loves that kind of praying—when we pray His own Word back to Him with a sincere and seeking heart. He’s been answering that particular prayer of mine for the last 15 years.  Funny, after all this time, He hasn’t run out of  “offensive ways” to reveal to me. Thank goodness for His infinite love and patience! Obviously, I’m a work in progress.

I recently started a Bible study exploring modern-day idolatry, Kelly Minter’s “No Other Gods.” I got as far as day 2 when God revealed the latest offensive way He wanted to remove. 2 Kings 17:7 served as the springboard for my revelation.

All this took place because the Israelites had sinned against the Lord their God, who had brought them up out of Egypt from under the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt (emphasis mine).

I’ve taught often on the parallels between God’s deliverance of the Israelites from their captivity in Egypt to our deliverance through Christ from our own areas of spiritual bondage. Over the years, Christ has freed me from many things, but that day’s lesson offered a fresh look based on the wording of that verse. The commentary challenged me to consider anything that represented a “pharaoh” in my life. Did I have anything that exercised power over me other than God?

To be honest, I couldn’t come up with anything. So I did what I always do, knowing my deceptive heart will never give up its gods easily. I prayed, asking Jesus to show me if I did.

It didn’t take long for Him to answer. Five words surfaced clearly in my thoughts. “You need to be right.”

Well, doesn’t everybody?

I pondered the thought for several moments until realization slowly began to dawn. That “need” I had never been able to name had been a destructive factor in my life, displaying itself in several different areas. But the big one was this:

He showed me I felt so driven to be right that I feared ever being wrong. And that fear made me slow to trust Him.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt Jesus prompting me to take a step of faith and let doubt delay my obedience. Good and logical thought convinced me I needed to double-check with God to make sure I heard Him correctly. Like Gideon, I’d set out my fleece time and again to make sure He continued to give me the same answer. He would have to confirm His will to me several times before I’d finally move.

I thought my motives were pure. I wanted be in the heart of God’s will. I wanted to be certain the idea was truly coming from Him and not from me. I didn’t want to inadvertently step outside of His blessing and favor.

I didn’t want to be wrong.

So I would wait. And pray. And wrestle with my thoughts. And stand still.

Apparently, I’d rather remain in limbo than take a step in the wrong direction. Not so bad, right?

But God was trying to show me something. Inadvertently serving this need to be right interfered with my ability to serve Him.

I was behaving as if I didn’t have the relationship with Him that I have been building for the last 15 years. On several occasions in the midst of my doubt He has had to remind me,

“You know my voice.”

And I do. I’ve learned to recognize it. His quiet whisper penetrating the world’s noise has become my lifeline. I know it when I hear it.

Yet I still question it. My compulsive need to be right—my fear of being wrong— still makes me doubt it.  It keeps me wrestling with whether I even heard it. So I don’t move right away when Jesus tells me to. And here’s the truth of it, my friend. Delayed obedience is sin.

I wonder how many times my refusal to move has kept me from a blessing.

2 Kings 17:41 reveals a profound truth:

Even while these people were worshiping the Lord, they were serving their idols.

Dear one, just like Israel, you and I can worship Jesus while serving other gods. I did. I was trying to follow Jesus while still serving my need to be right. The power that need maintained in my life interfered with me doing what God was leading me to do. Kind of gives new insight to Matthew 6:24:

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and ________________. “

What do you still serve, dear one, that keeps you from wholeheartedly following Jesus? Are you willing to let God reveal your hidden chains?

I’ll warn you. You may be surprised by what you discover. But if you’re willing to take the journey, you’ll find the path leads to peace.