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A Divine Appointment

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“ . . . no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.”                         1 Corinthians 2:9 ESV

“I opened this door.”

God whispered the words into my heart one morning in the parking lot of the YMCA. And I have to be honest with you. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I had other plans.

I had purchased my ticket to the Beth Moore Conference months before, and I couldn’t wait to attend. My heart longed for some rest and refreshment, and it had been years since I had been to one. Determined not to miss another, I had marked my calendar as unavailable and prepared to take some me time.

So when God brought several invitations to speak on the Saturday of that conference, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it. Something told me He was trying to get my attention.

One particular event kept occupying my thoughts, and that day in the parking lot, I opened my heart to ask His direction. “What do you have for me, Lord? What is it you want me to do?”

“I opened this door.”

It figured. I had committed myself to walking through any door that God opens, so I immediately knew what that meant. I wouldn’t be going to see Beth Moore.

Really, Lord? I took a moment to voice my frustration. “But I just wanted to get filled up.”

His response was immediate. “I will fill you up.”

Have you ever been there? Have you ever set your heart on a particular path and then realized God was leading you in different direction?

That day I stood at a crossroads.

I knew what I wanted. In my mind, it seemed the best possible scenario, and I wanted to hold it tightly with both hands. Giving it up felt like a sacrifice.

But I also know that Jesus calls us with two, simple words. “Follow Me.” And behind those words, He offers a promise.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

At every crossroads along our journey, you and I must decide if we believe Him.

My logic wanted to argue against His leadership. After all, didn’t I need someone to pour into me sometimes instead of always being the one who pours out?

But Jesus had promised, “I will fill you up.”

I decided not to argue further. I’ve trusted Him often enough to know that obedience is always best.

I surrendered my heart to obey Him, and He softened the blow with an idea. I could attend the conference as planned on Friday and then drive to a hotel in Chambersburg so I’d be there for the event on Saturday.

I felt a hint of excitement. Apparently God would allow me to do both.

The weekend arrived for Living Proof Live with Beth Moore. A few of us attended the You Lead Conference beforehand and were finished up by lunchtime. Having cancelled our original hotel room in Hershey, we had lots of time to kill before heading to the Giant Center for worship. A friend who was staying at the Hershey Lodge generously offered us one of her rooms to rest before the event.

We had just parked the car and unloaded some things to take into the hotel for the afternoon. Walking the few short steps to the door near our rooms, we noticed a minivan pull up in front of it. A moment later the door slid open, and out stepped Beth Moore.

IMG_1491It took a moment for my brain to register that it was really her. She stepped toward me, taking my hand in greeting. An overwhelming sense of divine providence washed over me, filling me with emotion. God had orchestrated this appointment.

I struggled to find words at first, caught off guard by this outpouring of God’s favor. But then, as Beth graciously leaned in and listened, I found myself able to share my heart.

I told her that I’m a Bible teacher, and that ten years before, my sister-in-law had invited me for a “sisters” weekend to one of her conferences in DC. I hadn’t heard of her at the time and wasn’t sure what to expect, but when I saw her passionate love for Jesus and witnessed her devotion to His Word, it validated what I had been feeling in my own heart. That weekend released something in me, and not long afterward, I opened my home to lead my very first Bible study. That event marked the start of my journey toward ministry.

I can’t tell you what a precious moment that was to me. I never imagined I’d be able to voice my gratitude in person over the IMG_1487impact she’d had on my life.

But God wasn’t done. While we were speaking, my assistant approached carrying two copies of my Bible study. I handed them to Beth, and she gladly took them, sharing that she had self-published her first book just as I had.

Everything faded as I took in that profound moment… Beth Moore held my Bible study in her hands.

My cup overflowed.

Here’s why I share this, dear one. Had I insisted on my own plan instead of obeying God, I never would have been there. We had reserved a room at another hotel. My stubbornness would have cost me that divine appointment.

God wasn’t taking anything from me by sending me to speak that Saturday. He had a blessing He wanted to give. One that would prosper me, that fit perfectly into His plan to offer me hope and pour into my future.

Will you trust Jesus to write your story, beloved? His plans are far greater than you can imagine.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

 

A Mother’s Struggle to Trust

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Not again.

Clutching my Bible and prayer journal, I retreated to my favorite chair, eager to spend some time with the Lord. Well, that’s what I told myself anyway. I really just wanted to feel better.

Here I am, Lord. I scratched the words on the page, searching for where to begin. Worship filtered through my headphones, the uplifting beat of the melody marking a stark contrast to my mood. My mind tuned to the lyrics, “All we need is You.”

Instantly, conviction pierced my heart with the unsettling knowledge that I didn’t agree—at least not that day. That day I needed more than Jesus. I needed Him to fix things.

Guilt compelled me to confess. I’m sorry, Lord. I want you to be enough, but this is too much . . .

A jagged scar from an old wound had just been torn open. The familiar longing for acceptance tugged at my heart, crying out for satisfaction. Rejection had found me again. But this time, it had come for my son.

That changes things. I can handle the battle when I’m at the heart of it. I’ve learned to trust God’s plans for me even when I can’t make sense of them. He’s proven Himself faithful over and over again.

But this felt altogether different. This wasn’t about me. This time my child’s heart had been shattered, and I desperately wanted to fix it. I can’t be expected to idly watch one of my precious ones suffer.

My heart rebelled at the injustice of it. Anger mingled with the pain, begging retaliation. This wasn’t fair. He deserved better.

God should do something.

Soon His gentle Spirit stirred within my heart, lifting the veil so I could see. Realization dawned, penetrating my grief with this undeniable truth: God knew. He understood rejection. He understood the pain of seeing His Son cast aside—of wanting the world to recognize His great value, yet seeing it deny Him.

“He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.” John 1:11, ESV

In that moment, I knew His suffering. I felt His pain. How the Father must have wept when they rejected Jesus. How He still must weep as we repeatedly devalue His only begotten Son . . . the Son He loves . . . the Son He gave.

Hope flickered through my sorrow, God’s own understanding of my feelings encouraging me to press in close. I asked Him to speak to me, to help me trust Him with my own son’s fragile heart. I needed Him to help me believe what I knew His Word declared: that His plans for him are far greater than my own.

True to who He is, God answered. Once again, His Spirit stirred, reminding me of truth. God never allows suffering for its own sake. Suffering, according to Scripture, marks the path to glory.

“But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” 1 Peter 4:13, NIV

Then I knew. God had glory to reveal in my son’s life.

This pain would pass, and God would somehow bring good through it. It wasn’t what I would choose for him, but the God who created Him and wrote his story knew what I couldn’t. For whatever reason, my son needed to walk through this. His despair would not be in vain. Through it God would reveal Himself.

I sat in the stillness, pen in hand, and listened, inviting the God who speaks to do so again. Soon His quiet whisper stirred within me, and I found my hand moving once more across the page.

He is mine, beloved, just as you are mine. I AM greater than his pain . . . than your pain. You will soon see.

A promise.

Tears fell in response, my heart hopeful. God always keeps His Word.

I thought of Abraham and how he must have felt as he placed his son, Isaac, upon that altar. I imagine he did it with trembling hands and a breaking heart. But place him there, he did. And Isaac received the blessing that came through his father’s promise.

God had spoken blessings over my son as well, and I had a choice to make. I could retreat into my anger and justify my sorrow. Or, I could trust God to keep His Word in my son’s life. I could fight to change things and try to manipulate his circumstances so I’d like the look of them better, or I could choose to believe the God who speaks and entrust my son to Him with open hands.

I decided I wouldn’t withhold him from the God who loves him even more than I do . . . and then it came. I experienced Jesus’ promise from John 14:27,

 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.” ESV

The wonder of it always astounds me. I can’t explain the how of it. I simply revel in the miracle of it. But when I run toward Jesus in my confusion instead of from Him—and I listen—I find peace.

It happens the moment I resolve in my heart to believe.

Rising to Life

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Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.” John 11:25

I had a good cry with Jesus this morning. A prayer journal I’ve been working through brought me to the streets of Jerusalem to witness His trial and execution. The scene did not evoke peace or comfort. The crowd grew ugly, crying out for blood.

The guards gladly gave it, pounding Jesus with fists and lashes, their mocking lips curled in treacherous smiles as they hailed Him “King of the Jews” and repeatedly beat a crown of thorns into His head. They spit on Him and mocked Him, then made Him carry His own cross, stumbling half dead through the streets to Golgotha. There, they hammered nails into His wrists and ankles, hanging Him between two thieves on splintered beams of wood.

I can barely stand the thought of it. My heart breaks for my Lord and friend when I think of what He suffered. I cannot imagine the searing rejection He felt, the pain He endured. If anyone ever had reason to rage against injustice, it was Jesus. He was innocent, undeserving; yet He suffered unspeakable pain. And at the hands of those He professed to love, many who only the week before had worshiped Him.

Yes, if ever anyone had reason to hold a grudge, it was Jesus. But He didn’t. Instead, He hung gasping for breath, ignored their insults, and uttered the impossible.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34

Unbelievable. The torture wasn’t even over. No one had apologized. In fact, they were still hurling insults at Him. His circumstances hadn’t changed. The people had not repented. Yet Jesus chose—in the midst of His pain—to release forgiveness.

It makes no sense to us. In fact, it’s almost unthinkable. It goes against every thread of instinct woven into our human nature. But that’s the point, actually. Our human nature rings synonymous with our fallen nature, and left unchecked it will destroy us.

Dear one, the part of you that rails against how unfair your circumstances seem—that screams you deserve better and schemes for retribution—that part of you has spent its life enslaved to sin and will always incite you to respond in ways that bring about death.

For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. Romans 7:5

Beloved, no good ever comes from following our “natural” instincts, because what feels natural to us comes from our life-long bondage to sin. Whenever we allow our old nature to guide our actions, death of some kind eventually results. Every time. And when we hold a grudge, it won’t be the one we harbor anger toward that experiences that death. No, our bitterness brings death to our own souls.

If you think about it, you’ll probably find you know that to be true. You’ve likely tasted the poison of bitterness and felt its effects.

Have you ever had an “enemy” so preoccupy your thoughts that you can hardly think about anything else? Anger overshadows every other emotion until it’s hard to imagine being capable of another feeling. Unrest steals your peace; anxiety consumes your joy. The very mention of your offender sets your heart racing and your blood boiling. Ugly thoughts linger. And most of the time, you just feel miserable.

Do you see it, dear one? Death. Is this what we fight to protect by refusing to forgive?

The perfect Son of God made a different choice as He hung from His cross. Why? Because Jesus, unbound by our destructive sin nature, knew that forgiveness was the only way to keep Himself free.

Jesus didn’t only offer forgiveness as a grand act of mercy toward humanity. Jesus had to forgive, dear one. Accepting that sin into His heart would’ve thwarted everything He had come to accomplish.

Think about it. What made Jesus able to conquer death and rise from the grave? He defeated sin and its resulting death by remaining the perfect, sinless, spotless Lamb. If Jesus had allowed bitterness to take root in His heart, even He would’ve missed experiencing the glory of resurrection.

Forgiveness had to take place, beloved, or Jesus would have remained in the grave. Bitterness would have kept our Savior from rising to life.

The same rings true for you, dear one. The power to rise from the dead lies within your own heart. You can trust your old nature and hold onto the resentment you have every right to carry. Or, like Jesus, you can choose to believe that resurrection life lies on the other side of forgiveness.

You may even experience the same miracle Jesus did. He didn’t just rise to glory; the grace that forgiveness unleashed brought about a direct change in His circumstances.

Just look at the thief that hung beside Him. He began that torturous day among Jesus’ accusers.  Matthew 27:44 records, “In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.”

Amazingly, one of the thieves suddenly switched sides after Jesus’ famous, pardoning words. Luke 23:39-41 records the abrupt change.

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

Jesus’ forgiveness released the power of grace to transform that thief’s hardened heart. In a powerful moment, Jesus’ opposition became His friend; His enemy became His ally. Transformation occurred because the faith expressed through forgiveness released God to move. And both Jesus and His accuser rose to new life.

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:43

Beloved, your faith expressed through obedience opens the door to release God’s grace. Why not give forgiveness a try? You may just see your enemy become your ally.

“Everything is possible for one who believes.”  Mark 9:23