“I am sending you.”
The message penetrated my heart in the middle of worship on Saturday afternoon during our annual women’s conference. An image of my friend who is battling end stage colon cancer flooded my mind.
My lips stopped moving as everything faded, the presence of the Spirit commanding my attention. I knew without doubt He was asking me to go and pray healing over my friend.
I wanted desperately to comply. I would like nothing more than to be a vessel Jesus used to heal her. But in the same moment fear and doubt took hold. Who was I? Nobody. Just a friend…a soccer mom…a Bible teacher. Not a miracle worker.
Do you notice how we tend to focus our eyes on our own inability rather than God’s ability? When God calls us to exercise faith, we make everything about us. But the tasks He appoints have nothing to do with who we are and everything to do with who He is. And in those moments, He asks us to trust. “Will you believe I AM who I say I AM?”
It might be interesting to note the theme of the conference I attended: Empowered by the Spirit. The speaker challenged us to Feed on the Word, Believe the Word, and then Live the Word. What good, after all, is knowledge of the Word if we can’t live it in the everyday? What does Truth mean to us if we don’t believe it and put it into action?
“I am sending you.”
The moment passed and we all settled in to hear the final message from the speaker. I found myself challenged by Revelation 12:10-11,
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
“Now have come the salvation and the power
and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down.
They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
as to shrink from death.”
You’ve probably felt the weight of Satan’s accusations against you. We deal with the burden of his lies every day. But do you see how these brothers and sisters in Christ triumphed over him? By the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.
Hear me, beloved. Christ’s blood poured out on that cross guaranteed our victory over the enemy. But if you want to experience that victory—if you want to see the glory of God poured out— it isn’t enough to simply rest in the knowledge of what Christ accomplished. You’ve got to live it out. You and I have got to live like the enemy is the defeated foe he is and let the word of our testimony proclaim our victory.
That means we can’t allow Satan to fill our heads with doubt. When God speaks, we must simply believe and take action in faith. The rest is up to Him.
That night I prayed for God to increase my faith. I rose early the next morning and opened the Scriptures, determined to feed on the Word of God and fill myself with His presence. He confirmed His message to me, and I knew I was to go that day. For a moment, I allowed the doubt to creep into my thoughts again. What if it didn’t work? I can’t…
Immediately God spoke, this time bringing a familiar Scripture to remembrance.
“Go in the strength you have … Am I not sending you?” Judges 6:14
I began to weep. I could not deny His message to me, and I determined to believe.
In worship at church that morning, I presented myself to God as a living sacrifice. I confessed my sin, received His forgiveness, and asked Him to anoint my lips with His Word.
After the service I shared my mission with two dear sisters and asked them to pray. One of them asked to accompany me, and we headed together to the home of my friend.
My heart hurt when I saw her lying on the couch. Breathing was difficult due to fluid filling her lungs from the cancer. I bent down to hug her and she began to cry, confessing she felt forgotten and abandoned by God.
I looked into her sweet face and was able to tell her, “He sent me to you. He loves you desperately, and He has not forgotten you.”
I knew in that moment it didn’t matter if I witnessed a miracle that day. God had already provided what my friend needed simply because I showed up. She needed hope. She needed to understand that she was not forsaken. She needed to grasp the height and depth of God’s love.
I read from Ephesians 3:16-21.
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I cannot adequately put into words what happened next. The Spirit led us in the sweetest time of prayer I have ever experienced. We laid hands on our friend and prayed as the Spirit moved us. We declared His glory and proclaimed His Truth, surrendering our wills to allow the Spirit in us to pray what she needed. We declared healing, praying for the fluid in her chest to recede. We proclaimed life and invited glory.
Minutes passed unnoticed, and nearly 2 hours had lapsed when we uttered the final amen. His presence was so thick I felt my hands going numb. I didn’t want to move, not wanting to sever the connection we had as we united our hearts in submission to His purpose.
I can’t tell you what the road ahead holds for my friend, dear one. God alone knows what happens next. But I did see Jesus touch her that day, and what a privilege to be the hand that He used.
When we left her, her breathing was less labored and there was pink in her cheeks we didn’t see when we arrived. But above all, she and her husband had hope.
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.