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From Victim to Victor

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By Juliet Sharrow 01419676c13f3393ae901dec23ae13cff24f8cb52d-1

Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others. Titus 3:14a NLT

Victim.

It’s a label no one ever asks for. In fact, it’s a label that has to be forced on us! No one EVER chooses to be a victim. But that label forever defines us. It taints every decision, every moment, every occasion for the rest of our lives. We filter everything through our victim mentality. It can take years for us to trust again, to feel normal, to hope… to love.

Even if you’ve never been a victim yourself, I would guess that you know someone who shamefully wears this label. Victims see the whole world and every circumstance through the tainted lens of their victimhood. Victim becomes their identity. They believe this is who they are and who they always will be.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, a time for us to remember and honor victims, especially those who have died as a victim, carrying this identity to the grave. The sad part is this is not an unstoppable evil! It is not a cancer that ravages our body and we have no control over it. Abuse is one person choosing to hurt another.

Often abuse occurs between two people who love each other, and sadly even occurs in marriages. Do you know what it’s like to be beaten every day by the person you love? Have you been torn down with ugly, hateful, demeaning words until you believed they were true? Do you understand how it feels to wake up each day and wonder if today is the day they will kill you? Countless people around the world live with this fear every day!

UNICEF reports that 1 billion people worldwide who are alive today, have experienced or are currently experiencing domestic violence. And in the US, 1 in 7 adults (over 40 million people) currently live with or have lived with domestic violence, causing UNICEF to label it “one of the most pervasive human rights violations in the world.”

Do these numbers surprise you? They should, because domestic violence is our best kept secret in this country. No one wants to talk about it, and even fewer will admit they are part of this statistic. But I stand before you today admitting that I a member of this statistic. I have worn the scarlet letter of victim for most of my life. I carried the shame of victimhood far too long. I believed the lies my abuser and Satan spoke to me, lies that told me I was unloveable. Unwanted. Worthless.

Can I let you in on a secret? All victims believe these same lies. Just ask them if they feel unloved, unwanted or worthless, and you will see their eyes well up with tears as they lower their heads in shame!

Life experiences have taught them they are unlovable. But God says differently.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

God believes these victims are worth dying for.

Their abusers and sometimes even their families tell them no one wants them. But God says:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5a

“You did not choose me, but I chose you…” John 15:16a

Society tells her she is worthless. Worth less than those who have a husband, or a good job, or a put together life. But she is treasured by God. Created in His image. Priceless!

These women don’t realize how beautiful, loved, wanted and valuable they are! And they won’t know until someone shows them. They need someone who makes them feel things like hope for the first time in a long time. Someone who speaks light into their darkness and life into their crippled hearts of stone. Someone who shows them their beauty in Gods eyes by loving them in all their ugliness, who shows them the depths of Christ’s love for them by serving them in their darkest hour and providing for them in the direst of circumstances.

These women don’t just need a handout. They need love. They need someone to show them how desperately God wants them by walking alongside them through even the hardest of days.

This is the mission God has laid before us here at Kelley Latta Ministries. We have felt His call to be His hands and feet and minister to these broken families. To serve them and love them and walk alongside them on their journey to independence and freedom. To break through the lies in their belief system and deliver them into the freedom truth promises.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

This ministry was birthed through my own background of abuse, domestic violence, and homelessness. God used my past, my pain and my struggles to birth a passion to minister to and love those who are where I have been. While at the same time laying it on Kelley’s heart to reach out to the orphans and widows of our day—broken families—as scripture commands. God joined our hearts and our passions as we obediently followed His lead in founding this outreach ministry called Love LIVES.

The focus of this ministry is to meet the needs of abuse victims and their families along with the broken and down trodden in our communities. We do this by providing for financial, physical, emotional and spiritual needs. In meeting the most basic of human needs we build trust and show them they are not alone and that someone cares. This lays a foundation that enables us to share the love of Christ and the good news of the gospel with them.

When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12:13 NLT

We also offer a mentoring program that allows us to walk alongside the victims on their journey to freedom and victory. Our mentors were all victims themselves, so they understand the struggle these ladies are going through and can minister to them in ways no one else could! In this way we share life with them, counsel them, love them and help meet ongoing needs with the goal of enabling them to not just survive but to thrive!

Through Love LIVES we have answered the call to minister to the forgotten and unwanted. We stand beside these victims and broken families to show them that their lives matter. That they are valuable. And that someone actually cares whether they live or die!

But we need your help. We cannot do this alone. We invite you to partner with us in making a difference in the lives of these women and their families.

You can help us meet the needs of our clients on an individual basis by joining our email list. We send out emails listing individual client needs as they come in from the Safe Home. We don’t expect you to help with every need, but only as you are able and feel led to. If you get the email and want to help, you let us know. It is that easy! And remember, even what seems like the smallest gift can mean the world to them.

We are also looking for those who would like to partner with us financially through a one time or monthly tax deductible gift. We use these funds to help victims with first month’s rent & security deposit to get an apartment or to help pay their rent or utilities in extenuating circumstances. We also use financial donations to purchase needed items that aren’t donated, or that we must purchase new, like car seats and mattresses.

Would you prayerfully consider partnering with us as we reach out to a lost and hurting world, giving them hope and sharing the love and grace God has so lavishly blessed us with? Will you stand with us to prove that Love LIVES?

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A Thirsty Soul, Part 2

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01419676c13f3393ae901dec23ae13cff24f8cb52d-1

by Juliet Sharrow

Last week I shared how God met me in my deepest pit and intervened when I tried to take my own life. He not only sent someone to break down my door, He showed up Himself to sing His love over me. I am still amazed by the thought.

You might think that at this point I surrendered my life to the Lord. Nope.

Instead I thought I deserved to be punished, not just for trying to take my own life, but for all the bad choices I had made, for all the times I had turned from God and went my own way. I was so ashamed! Surely God could not—would not—want me. Surely He could never forgive me. How could He love me after everything I had done?

And so I ran, right into the arms of an abusive man.

This man was not my husband. I chose to live in sin even though I knew in my heart it was wrong. When he hit me the first time, I knew I deserved it. I deserved every beating, every broken bone, every humiliation. I had been searching for love for so long, I was willing to accept any love I could get, even love that hurt.

I suffered beatings and torture every day, and I would think, maybe today he’ll kill me, because I knew I deserved that too. I died inside a little more with every beating, every humiliation, every broken bone. Each blow confirmed what I already knew in my heart of hearts: No one could ever really love me. No One would ever want me; I was too broken and too damaged.

Satan worked his magic through the fists and words of an abusive man, but God still had other plans for me. Even though I had turned from Him yet again, He continued to pursue me.

This time He sent me a precious gift, a life saving gift. He sent me a child.

I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant. I would love my child in all the ways I had not been loved. I would somehow make it all right. I just knew that this child would satisfy my thirsty soul.

Finally, my son was born. In my whole life I had never felt what I felt for this child! It was a love I could not understand. I loved him with everything that was in me. And I thought I had finally satisfied that longing, finally quenched my thirst.

But when I brought my son home from the hospital, I was still waist deep in my pit. I remained in a very dangerous, very abusive relationship with my son’s father. I was afraid for my life and for my son’s life, but I was too scared and too weak to do anything about it. And, I was still living in sin with a man who was not my husband. So I prayed that God would change my abuser so we could be a family. That’s one prayer I am thankful God answered with a no. Instead God began to change me.

First I had to learn to love myself, and I had to come to grips with who I really was and what was motivating the decisions I made. I learned that my need to feel loved had consumed me, and had so twisted my thinking that I was willing to allow a man to hit me and torture me, as long as he told me he loved me. And I learned that I needed to take ownership for my part in this relationship. You see, I allowed it to happen. I stayed. I covered up the bruises and broken bones and lied about them. I made excuses for his behavior. All because I believed I was unloved, believed I was not worthy, believed I deserved it.

Then God began to change the way I saw my abuser. Eventually I got to the point that I loathed the man I once loved, hating every minute I spent with him. I even cringed at the sound of his voice. I no longer saw him through the tainted view of desperate love. Instead I saw the reality of who he was. I believe God was working in me to prepare me to leave. He had to change my heart and my thinking about myself and about this man to give me the strength to go. He needed to get me to a place that when I came face to face with my Lord there would be no looking back, no going back!

During this time, my love for my son only grew. I took many beatings to protect him. I cried out to God to save him from my fate. And one day the revelation came: someday, this man would hit my son. I could not let that happen. I would do anything for this child, and he deserved a better life than this. I loved him so much I’d die to save him, and that’s when God changed my life forever. He spoke right into my heart, “Don’t you see? That’s how much I love you. I gave up MY son for you!”

I thought of John 3:16,

For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son…

I realized that God so loved Juliet, He was willing to sacrifice His son for me! I could not understand how He could love me after what I had done. I had turned my back on Him so many times, and I chose to run the other way even when He met me as I lay dying.

But the sins of my past didn’t matter. That day God reminded me how much He loved me. He reminded me how He had sung over me as I tried to take my own life, reminded me that He had offered me the gift of grace through my son. And He reminded me that He would always love me, no matter how far away I ran, or how many times I turned my back on Him or how many bad choices I made. He showed me how He had pursued me and met me time and time again in my moments of greatest need.

No matter what I look like, or what I’ve done, He loves me as I am! He loved me first. And this time when my God met me in my circumstance, I turned to Him. I received what He was offering me, the water of life. I had no regrets, no thoughts of running. Just an overwhelming sense of relief, that all the searching and all the pain was finally over. And the void I had been trying to fill for so many years was finally filled.

My encounter with God saved my life in more ways than one. I finally found the strength to leave my abuser. And I found the love I had been searching for since the day He knit me together in my mother’s womb, in the arms of my heavenly Father.

Our God works in ways beyond our comprehension. He sees our whole life laid out before Him, and He knows what you and I thirst for. He knows what it will take to get us to turn to Him, and He knows precisely when we finally will. And so He has written it in the stars, for each and every one of us, a clandestine date when He meets us face to face in the midst of our pit to offer us the water of life.

You can be sure He will go out of His way to be there. The question is, will you receive what He is offering you? Or will you go away thirsty and continue your futile search to fill the emptiness inside?

Please know today that NOTHING in this world will quench your thirst. Nothing else will satisfy. Only Christ can give you what you are searching for. Only He can refresh your weary soul and breathe life back into your hopeless world.

And when you allow Him to do that you will be able to come full circle and step into what He has planned for you! I am excited to get to give back to victims of Domestic Violence. God has taken my mess and made it my message!

For the last 3 years we have been working alongside the staff of our local women’s shelter, partnering with them to provide help with rent, utilities, clothing & food—basically whatever is needed to help other victims survive. And now that we are officially a non-profit ministry, we are proud to announce our new outreach program.

Love LIVES:  Living In Victory & Empowering Survivors

We aim to meet the needs of victims by providing financial, physical, emotional and spiritual support through our mentoring program.

In the coming weeks we will be sharing more information about our vision and how you can partner with us to make a difference in the lives of these families! In the meantime, would you join us in prayer for the many hurting victims in our communities? Those who are parched, thirsty and searching. Those who need to know the Love of God, so they will never thirst again!

Blessed in the Beloved

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For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16 ESV

“There is no one on this planet more blessed than you.”

Beth Moore spoke those words last year during a taping of “Wednesdays in the Word” for Life Today TV. At the time, I joked with a friend who attended with me. “I’ve been telling you this for months. Will you believe it now that you’ve heard it from Beth Moore?”

Somehow it seems impossible to believe, doesn’t it? Most days we don’t feel extravagantly blessed.

If that’s you, you’re not alone. I presented Beth’s statement to the ladies in my Sunday school class shortly afterward and asked if they believed it. You should’ve seen the eyes darting from my gaze, heads shaking in disagreement around the room.

I think we believe in a God of blessing. We just have trouble believing those blessings belong to us.

We easily assure others that God loves them desperately and has great things in store. But that same truth doesn’t seem to apply when we look in the mirror. We carefully guard our list of reasons that prove what our thoughts convey: most of God’s blessings aren’t meant for me.

The Apostle Paul begs to differ with you, dear one. So does the God who inspired his words.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. Ephesians 1:3

Whether or not you feel blessed at this particular moment, if you have put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, God’s Word says that you are. According to Ephesians 1:3, you have already been blessed with every spiritual blessing available to you in Christ.

Think about that truth for a minute. The God who speaks things into being has spoken blessings over your life. Already. You’re not going to be blessed someday, dear one. You are already blessed.

I have to ask, beloved. Are you living out those blessings?

I think it’s safe to say that most of us live in a present reality that falls short of who we’ve become in Christ. We don’t walk as though we’re already blessed. We live still seeking the blessing.

Paul offers the key to unlocking God’s blessings over us in verse 6:

. . . his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Just so we’re clear, Jesus is the Beloved. And what has He blessed us with? Grace. Glorious grace.

That word grace in the original Greek means, “the state of kindness and favor toward someone, often with a focus on benefit given to the object; by extension: gift, benefit . . . blessing.” (Strong’s Concordance, Greek #5485, p.1653)

You, dear one, are blessed with the favor of God—favor that gives benefit. Favor you can’t earn. Favor you already have.

Do you believe God favors you, dear one? Do you know what His favor offers you? Perhaps you should read 2 Corinthians 9:8.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

Grace provides whatever we need at whatever time to succeed. And we’re swimming in it.

For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16

I’ll be honest with you. I have always struggled a bit with the concept of grace. This logical mind has difficulty grasping the idea that God’s love and favor doesn’t have to be earned. In fact, it can’t be. But that thought doesn’t sit quite right under the umbrella of reason.

And yet, that’s what scripture claims. For God so loves, that He gave (John 3:16). Freely. He poured out grace that provides all sufficiency in all things at all times. And if you are His, nobody has more blessing and favor from God than you.

Whether you believe it yet or not, Christ has lavished the riches of His grace upon you “in all wisdom and insight” (Ephesians 1:7-8). That means He didn’t make a mistake speaking it over you. He thought it through. He had insight into who you are, and He chose to favor you anyway.

So how do we learn to live in that favor? How do those blessings spoken over us in the heavenly places become our new reality on this earth?

The answer actually isn’t complicated, although we do our best to make it so. You and I need to return to where we began in Christ at the moment of our salvation.

We believe.

You see, one thing ushers us into the flow of grace poured out on us. Faith.

Through him [Jesus] we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Romans 5:2

Dear one, you are loved and lavished in grace. One thing alone can stop the realization of God’s favor in your life. Unbelief.

 Will you see yourself as you really are and believe God for your blessing?

Redeeming Love

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Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” John 13:7 ESV

I need to be honest with you. The last few weeks have been hard. People I love are hurting. Amid the usual struggles of life’s joys and hardships, loss and heartache have descended in a torrent.

A friend and sister servant in ministry at my church received a call recently that shattered her world. Her beautiful 23-year-old daughter had gone to sleep the night before like she did every other night. Only this time, she never woke up—at least not here. She closed her eyes to the blackness of this earth and opened them to the splendor of heaven and the beautiful face of Jesus.

Unimaginably wonderful for her. Devastatingly sorrowful for those left to grieve her.

Two other families close to me have lost loved ones to the ravages of cancer. And I recently received word that the disease has come calling on one of my dear family members for a second time.

Our human nature begs the answer to a desperate question: Why? Why must the body of Christ endure such pain? How do we reconcile God’s love with so much suffering?

I don’t have an answer, dear one, at least not one that will satisfy. If I did not know my God so well, I might be tempted to question Him myself.

But I do know Him well. I know the tenderness of His love. I know His comfort in my own brokenness. I know He is faithful, and I know His Word remains true.

I also know He wastes nothing and intends to bring a good work from every pain.

I recently read this quote from Christian philosopher Dallas Willard:

“Winter comes, but nothing irredeemable can happen to you. Nothing beyond the redemption of God can happen to you.”

Do you believe in the power of a God who redeems?

Beloved, God didn’t choose for this world to become ravaged by the evils of sin. Man chose it. Adam, chasing after a desire whispered into his heart by the deceiver, chose to disobey God and step out from under the safe covering of His protection. And now this world still reaps the consequence of that choice.

You see, that’s the nature of sin, dear one. It grows. It becomes stronger. Eventually it ends in death.

…desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. James 1:15

And now in this world so decayed and corrupted by sin, pain abounds. It leaves its mark on both guilty and innocent. But God never intended this pain for us; Satan did. Why? Because Satan hates what God loves, and God loves people.

Maybe we should take a moment to ponder the enormity of John 3:16.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

Love led God to give His Son so you and I could live. Really live. Sin and death were never His choice for us. He created us in life and chose to offer it again, poured out on a cross in love to redeem man’s mistake. Jesus suffered death Himself so He could rescue us from it. Unbelievable.

We have trouble grasping love that gives like that. We can’t wrap our mind around such utter selflessness. So we hesitate to trust it.

But you can trust it, dear one. God loves perfectly—even when we can’t see or understand what He’s doing at the time. And He will never allow a heartache that He can’t redeem and bring something beautiful from. Never.

My heart remains full of hope because I know that God isn’t working evil in this world. He’s redeeming it. We’re still dealing with the consequences of our choice, but He remains faithful.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Jesus has overcome what we cannot. Beloved, as long as we live on this corrupted earth, we will experience suffering. But in Christ we have glorious hope! Whether we experience His healing touch here or when we see Him face to face, we win. Hope abounds. Love overcomes. Life triumphs.

And for those of us left suffering in this broken world, Jesus offers the means to overcome. When we run to Him in our pain instead of from Him, He redeems it. He exchanges our ashes for beauty, our mourning for gladness, our despair for praise (Isaiah 61:3).

What the enemy intends for evil, God desires to rescue and redeem. Will you let Him, dear one?

A Thirsty Soul, part 2

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A Thirsty Soul, part 2

by Juliet Sharrow

Last week I shared how God met me in my deepest pit and intervened when I tried to take my own life. He not only sent someone to break down my door, He showed up Himself to sing His love over me. I am still amazed by the thought.

You might think that at this point I surrendered my life to the Lord. Nope.

Instead I knew I deserved to be punished, not just for trying to take my own life, but for all the bad choices I had made, for all the times I had turned from God and went my own way. I was so ashamed!  Surely God could not, would not want me. Surely He could never forgive me. How could He love me after everything I had done?

And so I ran, right into the arms of an abusive man. This man was not my husband.  I chose to live in sin even though I knew in my heart it was wrong.  When he hit me the first time, I knew I deserved it. I deserved every beating, every broken bone, every humiliation. I had been searching for love for so long, I was willing to accept any love I could get, even love that hurt.

So for almost three years I suffered beatings every day, and I would think, maybe today he’ll kill me.  Every beating, every name calling chipped away at me a little bit more.  Each blow confirmed what I already knew in my heart of hearts: No one could ever really love me.  No one would ever want me; I was too broken and too damaged. Satan worked his magic through the fists and words of an abusive man, but once again God had other plans for me. Even though I had turned from Him yet again, He continued to pursue me.

This time He sent me a precious gift, a life saving gift. He sent me a child.  I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant.  I would love my child in all the ways I had not been loved.  I would somehow make it all right.  I just knew that this child would satisfy my thirsty soul.

Finally, my son was born. In my whole life I had never felt what I felt for this child!  It was a love I could not understand.  I loved him with everything that was in me.  And I thought I had finally satisfied that longing, finally quenched my thirst.

But when I brought my son home from the hospital, I was still waist deep in my pit.  I remained in a very dangerous, very abusive relationship with my son’s father.  I was afraid for my life and for my son’s life, but I was too scared and too weak to do anything about it. And, I was still living in sin with a man who was not my husband.  So I prayed that God would change my abuser so we could be a family.  That’s one prayer I am thankful God answered with a no.  Instead God began to change me.

He began to change the way I saw my abuser. Eventually I got to the point that I loathed the man I once loved, hating every minute I spent with him. I even cringed at the sound of his voice. I no longer saw him through the tainted view of desperate love. Instead I saw the reality of who he was. I believe God was working in me to prepare me to leave.  He had to change my heart and my thinking about this man to give me the strength to go.  He needed to get me to a place that when I came face to face with my Lord there would be no looking back, no going back!

During this time, my love for my son only grew.  I took many beatings to protect him. I cried out to God to save him from my fate. And one day the revelation came: someday, this man would hit my son.  I could not let that happen.  I would do anything for this child, and he deserved a better life than this. I loved him so much I’d die to save him, and that’s when God changed my life forever. He spoke right into my heart, “Don’t you see? That’s how much I love you. I gave up MY son for you!”

I thought of John 3:16,

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

I realized that God so loved Juliet, He was willing to sacrifice His son for me! I could not understand how He could love me after what I had done. I had turned my back on Him so many times, and I chose to run the other way even when He met me as I lay dying.

But the sins of my past didn’t matter. That day God reminded me how much He loved me. He reminded me how He had sung over me as I tried to take my own life, reminded me that He had offered me the gift of grace through my son. And He reminded me that He would always love me, no matter how far away I ran, or how many times I turned my back on Him, or how many bad choices I made. He showed me how He had pursued me and met me time and time again in my moments of greatest need.

No matter what I look like or what I’ve done, He loves me as I am! He loved me first. And this time when my God met me in my circumstance, I turned to Him.  I received what He was offering me, the water of life.  I had no regrets, no thoughts of running, just an overwhelming sense of relief, that all the searching and all the pain was finally over.  And the void I had been trying to fill for so many years was finally filled.

My encounter with God saved my life in more ways than one. I finally found the strength to leave my abuser. And I found the love I had been searching for since the day He knit me together in my mother’s womb in the arms of my heavenly Father.

Our God works in ways beyond our comprehension.  He sees our whole life laid out before Him, and He knows what you and I thirst for. He knows what it will take to get us to turn to Him, and He knows precisely when we finally will.  And so He has written it in the stars, for each and every one of us, a clandestine date when He meets us face to face in the midst of our pit to offer us the water of life.

You can be sure He will go out of His way to be there. The question is, will you receive what He is offering you?  Or will you go away thirsty and continue your futile search to fill the emptiness inside.  Please know today that NOTHING in this world will quench your thirst.  Nothing else will satisfy. Only Christ can give you what you are searching for.  Only He can refresh your weary soul and breathe life back into your hopeless world.

What will you do at your next encounter with the King of Kings?