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From Victim to Victor

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By Juliet Sharrow 01419676c13f3393ae901dec23ae13cff24f8cb52d-1

Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others. Titus 3:14a NLT

Victim.

It’s a label no one ever asks for. In fact, it’s a label that has to be forced on us! No one EVER chooses to be a victim. But that label forever defines us. It taints every decision, every moment, every occasion for the rest of our lives. We filter everything through our victim mentality. It can take years for us to trust again, to feel normal, to hope… to love.

Even if you’ve never been a victim yourself, I would guess that you know someone who shamefully wears this label. Victims see the whole world and every circumstance through the tainted lens of their victimhood. Victim becomes their identity. They believe this is who they are and who they always will be.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, a time for us to remember and honor victims, especially those who have died as a victim, carrying this identity to the grave. The sad part is this is not an unstoppable evil! It is not a cancer that ravages our body and we have no control over it. Abuse is one person choosing to hurt another.

Often abuse occurs between two people who love each other, and sadly even occurs in marriages. Do you know what it’s like to be beaten every day by the person you love? Have you been torn down with ugly, hateful, demeaning words until you believed they were true? Do you understand how it feels to wake up each day and wonder if today is the day they will kill you? Countless people around the world live with this fear every day!

UNICEF reports that 1 billion people worldwide who are alive today, have experienced or are currently experiencing domestic violence. And in the US, 1 in 7 adults (over 40 million people) currently live with or have lived with domestic violence, causing UNICEF to label it “one of the most pervasive human rights violations in the world.”

Do these numbers surprise you? They should, because domestic violence is our best kept secret in this country. No one wants to talk about it, and even fewer will admit they are part of this statistic. But I stand before you today admitting that I a member of this statistic. I have worn the scarlet letter of victim for most of my life. I carried the shame of victimhood far too long. I believed the lies my abuser and Satan spoke to me, lies that told me I was unloveable. Unwanted. Worthless.

Can I let you in on a secret? All victims believe these same lies. Just ask them if they feel unloved, unwanted or worthless, and you will see their eyes well up with tears as they lower their heads in shame!

Life experiences have taught them they are unlovable. But God says differently.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

God believes these victims are worth dying for.

Their abusers and sometimes even their families tell them no one wants them. But God says:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5a

“You did not choose me, but I chose you…” John 15:16a

Society tells her she is worthless. Worth less than those who have a husband, or a good job, or a put together life. But she is treasured by God. Created in His image. Priceless!

These women don’t realize how beautiful, loved, wanted and valuable they are! And they won’t know until someone shows them. They need someone who makes them feel things like hope for the first time in a long time. Someone who speaks light into their darkness and life into their crippled hearts of stone. Someone who shows them their beauty in Gods eyes by loving them in all their ugliness, who shows them the depths of Christ’s love for them by serving them in their darkest hour and providing for them in the direst of circumstances.

These women don’t just need a handout. They need love. They need someone to show them how desperately God wants them by walking alongside them through even the hardest of days.

This is the mission God has laid before us here at Kelley Latta Ministries. We have felt His call to be His hands and feet and minister to these broken families. To serve them and love them and walk alongside them on their journey to independence and freedom. To break through the lies in their belief system and deliver them into the freedom truth promises.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

This ministry was birthed through my own background of abuse, domestic violence, and homelessness. God used my past, my pain and my struggles to birth a passion to minister to and love those who are where I have been. While at the same time laying it on Kelley’s heart to reach out to the orphans and widows of our day—broken families—as scripture commands. God joined our hearts and our passions as we obediently followed His lead in founding this outreach ministry called Love LIVES.

The focus of this ministry is to meet the needs of abuse victims and their families along with the broken and down trodden in our communities. We do this by providing for financial, physical, emotional and spiritual needs. In meeting the most basic of human needs we build trust and show them they are not alone and that someone cares. This lays a foundation that enables us to share the love of Christ and the good news of the gospel with them.

When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12:13 NLT

We also offer a mentoring program that allows us to walk alongside the victims on their journey to freedom and victory. Our mentors were all victims themselves, so they understand the struggle these ladies are going through and can minister to them in ways no one else could! In this way we share life with them, counsel them, love them and help meet ongoing needs with the goal of enabling them to not just survive but to thrive!

Through Love LIVES we have answered the call to minister to the forgotten and unwanted. We stand beside these victims and broken families to show them that their lives matter. That they are valuable. And that someone actually cares whether they live or die!

But we need your help. We cannot do this alone. We invite you to partner with us in making a difference in the lives of these women and their families.

You can help us meet the needs of our clients on an individual basis by joining our email list. We send out emails listing individual client needs as they come in from the Safe Home. We don’t expect you to help with every need, but only as you are able and feel led to. If you get the email and want to help, you let us know. It is that easy! And remember, even what seems like the smallest gift can mean the world to them.

We are also looking for those who would like to partner with us financially through a one time or monthly tax deductible gift. We use these funds to help victims with first month’s rent & security deposit to get an apartment or to help pay their rent or utilities in extenuating circumstances. We also use financial donations to purchase needed items that aren’t donated, or that we must purchase new, like car seats and mattresses.

Would you prayerfully consider partnering with us as we reach out to a lost and hurting world, giving them hope and sharing the love and grace God has so lavishly blessed us with? Will you stand with us to prove that Love LIVES?

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The Power of Hidden Things

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“Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes.” Luke 19:42 ESV

Our enemy loves hidden things.

His realm is darkness, and he loves to cloud our vision with deceptive veils. He knows that while we remain in darkness, he controls us. We find our power when we walk in the light.

And that’s why Peter heard Jesus speak some disconcerting words to him before His arrest.

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31-32

It might interest you to know that the you in Jesus’ opening sentence is plural. Jesus said, “Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat”. But then Jesus addresses only Peter with a singular you.

“But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.”

I have wept over those words, dear one. You see, like Peter, I’ve had a sifting.

God allowed the enemy access to me so I could acknowledge some hidden things in my heart I couldn’t see. And afterward, when I had overcome, Jesus led me to those verses and whispered them into my heart. “I have prayed for you, Kelley, that your faith would not fail. Now that you have come back, strengthen your brothers and sisters.”

I don’t know what those words mean to you, beloved, but they brought me to my knees. An image of my Savior kneeling before the Father on my behalf overwhelmed me.

And I realized how I had overcome. Not by anything I had done, but because the Father had answered the prayers of His Son who loved me, who fought for me when I didn’t have anything left in me to fight with. I overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony, simply because in my darkest hour I never lost sight of my Savior.

That’s what opened Peter to his victory too, dear one. He stayed close to Jesus, even while he battled through his hidden sin.

Look at Peter’s response to Jesus’ words.

Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” Luke 22:33

Peter truly believed he would follow Jesus anywhere. His deceitful heart had convinced him of his own infallibility. Matthew 26:33 records his passionate words, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.”

So Jesus told Peter the truth.

Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.” Luke 22:34

And Peter didn’t believe Him.

Take a moment to let that settle on you. Peter stood face to face with Truth—the One who declared, “I am the truth” (John 14:6)—and couldn’t agree with Him. He didn’t believe what He spoke because he couldn’t see the sin veiled within his own heart.

Yet Jesus loved Peter. So He gave Satan permission to sift him and bring what was hidden to the surface. He wanted Peter to discover the truth about himself so He could release him from the power it held over him. Jesus offered Peter the promise of John 8:32.

“… and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Peter discovered his truth shortly after Jesus’ arrest. When the soldiers seized Jesus and led Him away, Luke 22:54 reveals,

Peter was following at a distance.

This, dear one, offers the key to Peter’s successful outcome. Even when darkness cast doubt on Peter and brought distance between him and Jesus, he kept following. That close proximity to his Lord enabled the defining moment in Peter’s story.

You see, fear led Peter to deny he knew Jesus three times, just as Jesus had said. And at the precise moment of his third denial,

… immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. (verse 60)

 But Peter’s freedom came because of verse 61.

“And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.”

Can you imagine how he felt? The Lord’s gaze penetrated his hard heart, and immediately he remembered what Jesus had said. “Before the rooter crows today, you will deny me three times.” Again Peter faced Truth, but this time he couldn’t deny it.

The fact that we don’t acknowledge iniquity in our hearts doesn’t mean it isn’t there, beloved. Jesus wants to remove it all, the things we see, and especially the things we don’t. It’s often what we can’t acknowledge that carries the most power to hurt us.

Peter might have allowed his iniquity to overtake him and miss his calling as an Apostle of Christ if not for this single choice. Even when the uncertainty of his circumstances brought fear and doubt, he kept following Jesus. He stayed close. Close enough to look upon His face.

“And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.”

Sometimes the only place we’ll recognize the light of truth is in the middle of a dark moment.

Sometimes we’ll only recognize the light of truth in the middle of a dark moment. Click To Tweet

Beloved, hearing the truth from Jesus’ lips didn’t cause Peter to believe it. Jesus had to allow Peter to stumble into that sin in order to expose the darkness in his heart he couldn’t see.

That’s the purpose of a sifting, dear one. When we remain close to Jesus through it, His light exposes the truth about us. And when we finally agree with Jesus over our sin and repent of it, He sets us free.

Look at Peter’s response in verse 62. “And he went out and wept bitterly.”

Beloved, Jesus never exposes our sin to condemn us. He reveals it to free us from its power over us. If we want to experience that freedom, beloved, we must do what Peter did.

Never lose sight of Jesus.

 

Blessing the Overcomer

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In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:6-7 ESV

Hmmm. God allows trials in our lives to test how genuine our faith is.

Perhaps you don’t find that thought particularly comforting. After all, who really looks forward to going through trials? And let’s be honest. Testing our faith doesn’t seem like a very kind thing for God to do.

But here’s something to consider, beloved. What if God allows those trials as a direct result of His merciful love toward us? After all, our opening scripture reveals that various trials will grieve us if necessary. The wording suggests that if we didn’t need them, we wouldn’t have them.

Think it through with me, dear one. God already knows whether or not our faith is genuine, so He doesn’t test our faith for His benefit. That leaves only one possibility. He allows trials so that we can see how genuine our faith is.

I can’t help thinking of Jesus’ words to Peter on the night of His arrest.

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.” Luke 22:31-34

Peter felt pretty sure of himself. Look at his words in verse 33. “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” History reveals that wasn’t the case. Fear drove Peter to deny that he even knew Jesus. Not once, but three times. Then he heard that rooster crow.

I’m sure Peter believed those words when he said them. He thought his faith would stand up against any test.

But Jesus saw beyond what Peter could see. He saw straight into his heart, the same way He sees into yours and mine. And He knew what Peter believed about himself wasn’t the truth.

So in His love for Peter, Jesus did the unimaginable. He allowed Satan to sift him.

I confess I can’t type those words without tears. You see, like Peter, I’ve had a sifting. Like Peter, I believed some things about myself that weren’t actually true. And like Peter, I needed to know what I was really capable of.

Jesus explains why in John 8:32.

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

You and I will never be free from sin’s hold on us until we can acknowledge it has us.

We will never be free from sin’s hold on us until we can acknowledge it has us. John 8:32 Click To Tweet

And that’s the purpose of our trials, dear one. They reveal the true nature of our character. Not for God’s benefit, but for ours.

You see, sin that entangles and controls us has the power to cost us dearly. That’s why the writer of Hebrews commands us to “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles (Hebrews 12:1 NIV).”

Peter himself offers a sobering warning in his second epistle.

For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. 2 Peter 2:20-21

Jesus sees straight into our hearts, dear one. He knows the things that threaten to entangle and overcome us, to pull us away from His promises. And He longs to set us free so that we can overcome them instead. Like Peter, He wants to transform our character and set our feet firmly on the Rock. He wants us to live the promise of Romans 8:37.

In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Beloved, Jesus promises blessings to the one who conquers. Perhaps you’ll notice a common theme in Jesus’ words to the seven churches.

“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.” Revelation 2:7

“Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life. … The one who conquers will not be hurt by the second death.” Revelation 2:10-11

“To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.” Revelation 2:17

“Only hold fast what you have until I come. The one who conquers and who keeps my works until the end, to him I will give authority over the nations … And I will give him the morning star.” Revelation 2:25-28

 “The one who conquers will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life. I will confess his name before my Father and before his angels.” Revelation 3:5

“Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth. I am coming soon. Hold fast what you have, so that no one may seize your crown. The one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name.” Revelation 3:10-12

“The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne.” Revelation 3:21

Do you see it, dear one? Every blessing Jesus spoke of goes to the one who conquers, to the overcomer. Our trials provide us the opportunity to overcome.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

The Full Rights of Sons

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I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything. Galatians 4:1 ESV

A few weeks ago, our opening scripture took hold of me in my quiet time. I haven’t been able to let go of it. I don’t think Jesus wants me to.

You see, you and I are children of God—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17)— entitled to the full riches of our inheritance upon maturity.

But we have refused to grow up. So we’re living as slaves instead of heirs.

Jesus wants to see us live out the riches of our inheritance. He lovingly demonstrated this to a woman suffering under a disabling spirit.

Now he was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And behold, there was a woman who had had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said to her, “Woman, you are freed from your disability.” And he laid his hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and she glorified God. Luke 13:10-13

Take a moment to picture the woman with me. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself (verse 11).

Perhaps the image hits a little close to home. Have you known oppression so heavy it seemed you couldn’t straighten under its weight? I have. And I experienced it as a believer.

I need you to notice something about this woman. She didn’t approach Jesus for her healing. He called her to Him.

I wonder, dear one. Had she so resolved herself to her situation that it didn’t even occur to her that she could find freedom in Christ? After all, she had suffered under the weight of this oppressive spirit for 18 long years. This was simply who she was.

But Jesus saw something else in her, something only He could know. He knew she was a woman of faith.

How can I say that? Consider His words after the synagogue ruler condemned Him for healing her on the Sabbath.

“You hypocrites! Does not each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or his donkey from the manger and lead it away to water it? And ought not this woman, a daughter of Abraham whom Satan bound for eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath day?” Luke 13:15-16

What strikes me here is what Jesus called her: a daughter of Abraham.

Perhaps that seems insignificant to you. There’s nothing too surprising about a Jewish woman visiting the synagogue on the Sabbath.

But Jesus never threw that term around loosely. In fact, several times when Jews claimed to be Abraham’s children, He rebuked them (Matthew 3:9, John 8:39).

So what did it mean that Jesus called this woman a daughter of Abraham?

Romans 9:6-8 sheds some light on it for us.

For not all who are descended from Israel belong to Israel, and not all are children of Abraham because they are his offspring, but “Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring.

God only counts children of the promise as Abraham’s offspring. And who are the children of the promise?

And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. Galatians 3:29

When Jesus proclaimed this woman a daughter of Abraham, He declared that she belonged to Him. She was a woman of faith, a believer who chose to sit in the synagogue listening to the teaching of her Lord.

Listen carefully, dear one. Jesus called her a daughter, yet she remained bent in bondage to an oppressive, disabling spirit. What she suffered physically came directly from the kingdom of darkness, yet she could not conceive that she had the potential to live free of it.

So, in His merciful love, Jesus called her over to Him and told her the truth.

“Woman, you are freed from your disability.” Luke 13:12

I can’t help thinking of John 8:32.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Jesus called her to Him and simply told her the truth of her condition. She was free. As she embraced the truth He revealed and believed it, she experienced the very freedom He had declared.

Beloved, Jesus still calls us to Him so that He can tell us the truth. Only most of us don’t approach Him when He calls. We find every excuse not to open His Word. Then we wonder why we don’t experience His power.

Freedom is found in truth, and truth is found in Jesus. It’s time we draw near to the Word and start living as heirs of the promise.

Week 6: Loving God With All Your Heart

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Welcome back! I pray you are beginning to discover that Jesus longs to fill you with Himself. He wants more than simply to dwell within your heart; He wants to take it over.

This week we will try to gain some understanding of how that takes place. Although this video is the longest session, its message holds the key to dwelling in Christ’s empowerment and living in the freedom He died to give you. I pray you experience the blessing of  John 8:32,

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Click here to print the prepared note sheet for this video.

Click here to print copies of the heart slides used in the video.

Watch the Video

Week 6 Assignment

Complete Days 4-5 of Week 3 in your workbook

Additional Suggestion:

I encourage you to mark Psalm 139: 23-24 in your Bible and make it a consistent part of your prayer life. You will not recognize all that binds your heart without divine intervention, and Jesus longs to set you free, dear one.

Ask Him to begin revealing the sin that binds your heart and invite Him to show you the steps you must take to get free. Have you been pretending everything’s fine and ignoring the need for heart transformation? Maybe you’ve simply been admitting something to God and not really confessing it. Or do you expect God to miraculously free you from something while you still hold tightly to it with both hands? Ask Jesus to reveal the true condition of your heart. Then ask Him for the strength to trust Him completely. As you surrender your heart bit by bit to His leadership, you will discover a freedom and power that you have never known. And those around you will begin to witness and experience God’s love pouring out from your new heart.