The Father’s Love

This week’s post comes from Juliet Sharrow, my dear friend and assistant in ministry. Her story reveals God's great power to redeem. I pray that it will bless you and help you to know that you are never alone, no matter how desparately isolated you feel. No matter your circumstance, your Heavenly Father rejoices over you, and He will never abandon you. Be blessed, dear one.

Guest Author Juliet Sharrow

I was 21 and my life had spiraled into such a deep pit, I saw no way out. I was in pain, pain that I could not bear. All I wanted was someone to love me for me, to accept me the way I was.

I never felt loved as a child. I was never told I was pretty. No one told me I was good at anything. I felt unloved and ugly, like a failure.  And because of this, I did what failures often do. I made one bad choice after another trying to earn love and acceptance. By the age of 21, I was finished. I decided to kill myself.

I knew in my heart that no one would miss me. I knew that I was doing everyone a favor. I had convinced myself that this was the answer.  This would make the pain go away. I was desperate to make the pain go away!

Have you ever been there, my friend?  Willing to do anything to make the pain go away?  Maybe you didn’t resort to suicide for your way out. Perhaps you turned to alcohol to dull the pain, or drugs to help you forget, or maybe the arms of a man to try to fill the emptiness inside.

I saw death as my only escape, so I made up my mind and took a whole mix of pills.  I went to sleep knowing it would soon be over; I would never be in pain again!

But God had other plans for me. He sent paramedics to break down my door and save me from myself.

As I lay there fading in and out of consciousness, I heard singing!  Just one voice—a man’s voice—so tender and sweet, singing, “I will always love you . . . I will always love you . . . I will always love you . . . yes, I will!”

 Zephaniah 3:17 teaches,

" . . . He will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

I should have died that day. The doctors did not understand how I made it. But I did.

You might think at this point I surrendered to God. No, not me!  Instead I knew I deserved to be punished, not just for trying to take my own life, but for all the bad choices I had made, for all the times I had turned from God and went my own way. And so I ran, right into the arms of an abusive man.

When he hit me that first time, I knew I deserved it. I deserved every beating, every broken bone—every humiliation! For almost 3 years I was beaten every day, and I would think, maybe today he'll kill me.

Then God sent me a precious gift, a life saving gift. He sent me a son.  And how I loved that child! I took many beatings to protect him. I cried out to God to save him from my fate. And one day the revelation came. I would do anything for this child, and he deserved a better life than this. I loved him so much I'd die to save him, and that's when God spoke into my heart, "Don't you see? That's how much I love you. I gave up MY son for you!" 

I thought of John 3:16. “For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten son…” And I realized God was saying He so loved Juliet that He gave His only son to die for me!  He loved me enough to sacrifice His son for me!

I had never believed that God could love me unconditionally, because I did not understand unconditional love.  I had never known that kind of love.  I never knew my real father, and the man who raised me was strict and unloving, even cruel at times.  He was always condemning, punishing, and berating, never forgiving and loving. So I thought my heavenly father must be the same.

That day God revealed to me how much He loved me, and He showed me He’d always been there. He reminded me how He had sung over me as I tried to take my own life.  He reminded me that He would always love me, no matter how far away I ran, or how many times I turned my back on Him, or how many bad choices I made!  

Having my son showed me what unconditional love was for the first time. And so my love for my son saved my life in more ways than one. I found the strength to leave my abuser. I found new life and love in the arms of my heavenly Father, love no one on earth could give me.   And God showed me there was purpose in all my pain.

Do you know the Father’s love, my friend?  Have you allowed Him to sing over you?